Mom was a little concerned about me after one of my most recent blogs and said I probably shouldn’t blog in the “condition” I have been in lately…and she is probably right 😬 but figured I will give a quick update.
I am back to my little “nest” on the floor as the epidural injection for my back did not provide much relief to me afterall. In fact, I think my leg and back have slowly been getting worse. For a couple of days it didn’t seem so bad, but now I am not able to find any comfort from all of the different positions I am constantly trying. Consistent pain regardless of what I am doing…which is absolutely nothing…and that really stinks!
I have been going to physical therapy but she too was still concerned with how poorly I was walking as well as some other symptoms I discussed with her. My therapist encouraged me to contact my doctor, which I already had, and she faxed him a letter with her observations in regard to how miserable I look…and how miserable I feel!
While MRIs usually take awhile to get pre authorized through insurance and then set up, I am extremely thankful God heard my prayers and I was able to get in fast…this Sunday for the MRI. No messing around with that awful waiting game of scheduling! Once we have results, we will either discuss another injection or most likely a referral to the neurosurgeon will be made. Not happy about that but also 5 weeks of being able to literally do nothing…does not make me happy either.
I also have my eye appointment tomorrow in which I will find out when my eye surgery is….
Having so many illnesses is ridiculous. Autoimmune diseases stink and my own body won’t give it up…it just continues to attack me when and where I least expect it. 😤 All of my nasty health issues feed off of each other only to cause more problems.
So that is that. I definitely have a lot of “junk” that can consume me. This has been a very tough…and never ending season where it very well has tempted me to fall into those dark places. But I have my devotions and I love being able to listen to our church sermons online when I can’t make it to church. I am trying very hard to stay focused on the positive and trying to see how God might be using me through all of this! I trust that there is more to my story than just this pain… Plus, I am still able to recognize the amazing blessings in my daily life! For instance, today Leah came upstairs, sat next to me and just held my hand! Skyler has been running errands without any complaining and the boys are helping out with chores. And what really cracked me up is…when I walk I am almost completely hunched over and well tonight, Skye comes walking in completely arched back saying “look, I’m opposite of you!”😂😂😂You probably had to be there to appreciate the humor in that!😜 Leave it to Skye to make me laugh though!😍
Not to mention all of you awesome people who continue to check in and pray for me! I am focusing on all of these “little” things, which are truly big things, because they definitely remind me of how good God is and how much beauty there really is in my brokenness!
I also know I will never fully be able to understand what God is doing with some of these things but I do know He is at work so that’s when my faith comes in…my hope for this pain to be behind me…better days ahead of me…and someday all of this pain and all of these struggles will be a distant memory!!