“When we hope in God, we pursue and experience joy in the midst of suffering”

Well kids…yesterday was no fun! I should know by now that no matter how many times I do any type of procedure or surgery or test…that things always change when least expected.

Went in for a laser eye surgery to seal up the blood vessels that were hemorrhaging and they did my right eye…my “better” eye first. As they started to prep me for the surgery I noticed a few things were different but nothing major. They tested my vision, checked my pressures then applied the dilating and numbing drops. And then I waited patiently for the doctor to come in and administer the dreaded shot in my eye that would numb it even more and cause it to swell and puff up. 

Instead, my doctor came in, turned my seat, gave Tim the sunglasses to put on…and began the laser surgery. It all took me off guard and happened so fast that I didn’t have a chance to ask questions.

Okay, a little stinging to start out and before I knew it I was flinching and pulling back in my chair. The pain and bright light made it impossible for me to keep the tears from running down my cheeks as he continued with the laser, apologizing every so often and assuring me we were just about done. I tried telling myself I’ve been through so much pain with other procedures that I could do this but my self talk couldn’t distract me enough from what felt like an eternity of my eye burning so I started praying repeatedly “please God let this be over…now!” 

Finally, after a very long ten minutes we were done. I sat back, wiped my tears that were continuing to flow and before I could ask, Tim beat me to the punch and asked why I didn’t get the shot in my eye. The doctor explained that they had discovered there was too much risk involved of actually doing more harm than good with that type of anesthesia so the injections were no longer being approved by insurances companies. Nice.

I asked if that was why it hurt so dang much this time and he explained partially but also the more laser you have done the more sensitive the eyes become. I did not find this very encouraging beings how he did my right eye which had only been worked on once…and as much as that hurt, I can’t imagine what the left eye will feel like since that has had the laser five times.

That was that, not even a patch to cover up my eye so I reluctantly scheduled the next laser surgery for my left eye then we were on our way.

Overall, I think I handled it pretty well. I didn’t really yell at Tim haha but instead sat quietly the whole way home and tried not to cry.

When I got home even the kids were confused as to why I didn’t have a patch and Skyler asked if I even did anything. Tim went to chores and as soon as he got back home I went to bed and he took over with the kids.

My eye had that sharp painful feeling as though there was dirt in it all evening so it felt really good to lay down and close them. So many other sad things have went on this week and I reminded myself that if this was the worst of my circumstances then I really had to be thankful. 

I also started thinking about what we had discussed at our Wednesday night bible study as well as the previous sermon and again tears welled up. There is so much pain and sadness in this world and I can’t imagine going through life without having the hope in Jesus Christ. Having faith and believing that there is a heaven and someday the trials on this earth will be no more. And even better, there will be no sickness or death or sin…pure happiness and love and peace like we can not even begin to understand in this lifetime.

I have attached the sermon from last week February 26…please take some time to listen, especially if you need some encouragement…


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