Temporarily fixed as usual

As I was sending my family off to church tonight and zipping up Asher’s coat, it was hard for me to hold in the emotions that have consumed me from such a stressful afternoon. 

Today I had eye surgery for my left eye…hence the letter “L” sticker on my forehead…😜

And it was as fun, if not more fun, than the right eye surgery I had done two weeks ago. Yes, that is pure sarcasm.

The afternoon was a tough one due to the uncomfortable burning sensation in my eye, the pounding headache and a sudden onset of not feeling so well after the laser. My vision is still off and I am praying it will just take time for my eye to adjust back to normal. These surgeries are to help prevent any type of vision loss and as much as I flinched from pain during the laser surgery today, I can’t help but wonder “what if I jolted too much and it caused the doctor to zap me where he shouldn’t have.” 

Once I was done and we were back out in the car I joked with Tim about the fact that yet once again, his “magnificent” beard was a topic of conversation! But then I sat quietly the rest of the car ride home. 

Of course I am extremely relieved to have the surgeries over but at the same time, just like my back and my heart, my lung and all the other fibrosing mediastinitis and health junk…the surgery is not a permanent fix. I will always have these problems, and just like all of my lung and heart procedures, I will eventually have to go through all of this eye stuff all over again too…for the rest of my life. Today was the sixth laser eye surgery for my left eye and the right eye has been done twice, all over the past four years. I am hopeful that with my diabetes back under control and with my fm being stable at the moment, that I will be able to go a little longer than the last time before injections or intervention is needed again. 

And while laser surgery is no fun, especially because my eyes get more sensitive the more I have it done, I am extremely grateful that the doctor is catching it soon enough to help prevent any loss of vision. Actually this can be said for all of my other doctors and health issues…the symptoms and tests and procedures are no fun but I am thankful that I still have options available to help me.

Today was definitely a hard day but that doesn’t mean I am giving up or losing hope, it simply means that today was one of those days where I pushed through the pain and smiled through the tears…because I definitely have so much to smile about.💞

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