Today was another day of unexpected answers.  Instead of the shots I was dreading, I am going to need surgery again in order to once again hopefully fix the damage and prevent any permanent vision loss. After reviewing my chart, the doctor was reminded that I have already had three eye surgeries on my left eye and one surgery on my right eye so he did agree that instead of doing both eyes again, that we would start with the left eye which is definitely the worst, and then we will monitor the right one. To be honest, I’m not sure what to do. Do I get another opinion because how many of these surgeries can I really do?! My doctor is great but this will be my fifth eye surgery in a year and a half.

Needless to say, between the crazy suggestions yesterday of fluid on my brain and a possible spinal tap, then waiting to schedule an MRI for my brain and now waiting to set up eye surgery…well, it takes a toll pretty fast…and not just on me but also on Tim and our family. I mean, this seems to be turning in to a joke doesn’t it?! How can I have so many things wrong with so many parts of my body?! What is happening to me??

I also received a call this morning that I am now going to be able to get in for my sleep study this upcoming Monday night so that is great that I won’t have to wait until September, but again, with all this new testing and surgery coming up, the next couple of weeks look to be rough…and mind you I still need to make it through three more appointments this Friday in Iowa City.

With that being said, I did have a different blog started but then my mother sent me an email in regard to the last couple of days that seem to be spiraling downward for me. While I have been listening to my songs for encouragement and praying…it’s still hard.  Mom had sent me a quick text saying “check email sometime, I had a moment! And yes I am fine. lol.” So, I am going to share the email because I don’t think I could have written my blog any better!  I will admit, it has been a couple of rough days for me and Tim so thank you mom, for reminding me of everything God truly has blessed us with. Love you…and nice writing by the way!!! 😉

Today is one of those days I just wanna crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head. By morning I will be fine and probably will be ok within the next few hours. And if Becky chooses to share this I will be perfectly fine by the time you read this. But for now I am “upset” and wondering what Gods plan is. And the word upset? Those who know me know what I really mean. Beck has to have yet another surgery on her eyes. It is something that is treatable. But once again it’s something else to deal with. She is so brave. I know she has her moments but she always bounces back! I don’t know if I would!

Tim is so supportive but it has to wear him down too. They wed almost seven years ago and I know they both take those vows seriously. I just want to ask God “where is the richer, where is the better, where is the health?” Like I said I will be better soon. You moms out there know where I’m coming from. When our kids hurt, we hurt! I just wanna yell “God, give ’em a break!”

But I know God has already done more than we ever thought possible or deserve. I am so thankful  for the doctors who have listened to us. I am thankful for medical technology that Becky has benefitted from. I am thankful for Him bringing a godly man into her life and the blessing of two beautiful babies born when Mayo said she should be dying. I am thankful for Becky’s sense of humor, her wit and even her sarcasm! The girl can be a handful and Tim’s gotta be on his toes with her! They are truly two of a kind!

Most of all I am thankful for God’s grace. Where would we be without it?!

Well, see? I think I am better already. Please keep Becky and her  entire family in your prayers! We need them desperately!