Always Choose Your Words Wisely

Dr. Hornick called this morning and while we are still waiting to hear back on the next steps in regard to my heart…we do have the start of a game plan with my airways…that is, if I am willing to follow through. 

Hornick talked with Dr. Thomas…the doctor I met at Cody’s funeral…the doctor I told it was nice to meet him but hoped I never had to see him again. Oops!😳 He seems extremely nice and compassionate, however, I knew if I did see him again some day, it would be due to the progression of my illness. 

I just didn’t think it would be so soon. There is blooper number one for me not keeping my mouth shut😬

Unfortunately the next choice of words hit closer to home only to make me look like a fool later😦 Last night Tim and I got in to a little argument and it was very evident we were both simply tired and overwhelmed…me sick of being sick and him sick of seeing me sick. Some things were said, feelings were hurt and just like that…I told him he could forget coming with me to any more appointments and in fact, I wasn’t even going to tell him when they were! I will go alone and he can just keep himself at home. Okay, first of all…yeah, right!

And then I get the phone call first thing this morning from my doctor! And now I have to call Tim and tell him what has developed! 

I texted him immediately asking him to call me when he had a chance because my doctor had called. Well Tim called right away saying he assumed it was not good news since I wanted to talk to him! Haha. Boy did I feel dumb for my empty threats and all of the things I had said to him the night before! 

But, I am thankful for the call as it pulled me and Tim back together and regained our focus on who is the most important in our relationship! God!!   

So less than 12 hours after my stubbornness and spiteful independence…I was praying to God for strength and peace for what is to come and I was relying on Tim to be right by my side.

Anyway, after all that rambling, I am waiting for a call from Dr. Thomas in regard to setting up a procedure, I’m assuming a bronchoscopy, to dilate my lung in order to get a better picture of what’s going on. The ct scan definitely showed more narrowing of my right middle lobe bronchus so they feel it is a good idea to go in and see just how bad it really is. 

Hornick feels it is better to go in now and try to stent instead of waiting until it’s completely occluded then not being able to do anything. Assuming that it is not blocked 100% already.

Needless to say, this scares me and Tim terribly and I can’t help but think about Cody…as I’m sure all of my fm family does. Cody had a lot of the same issues I have and one of my biggest fears and one of my biggest what ifs with all of my procedures…I saw become a reality when he passed away. 

A lot of emotions running wild and a lot to think about. I still don’t have much information. I have questions to be answered and research to be studied on this airway business. I mean I live with one lung so this can’t be much worse right?!😏

Plus, Dr. Hornick is still trying to get in contact with the Mayo Clinic in regard to the clinical study. It will also give us the opportunity to get another opinion on my situation. 

So, that is where things are at and while it has been an emotional day, Tim and I were able to finish it off at small group filled with good discussion, good friends and some great laughs! 

Will keep you updated as I get more specific information from the doctor. 

One thought on “Always Choose Your Words Wisely

  1. Sharon says:

    Rebecca, just know I am with you & so is Cody. I could not stop myself from shedding a tear because I have been there. I am giving you & Tim a great big hug. I am here if you ever need a shoulder. Love you girl & stay strong.

    Liked by 2 people

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