We Survived Our First Marriage Conference 

God’s timing is always right, and we saw this yet once again this week! 

The night before the marriage conference, Tim was mad that I sucked up all of our data while watching the debate online Thursday night. Apparently my phone had gotten kicked off of our wifi so I was using our data for the entire hour! After the debate I went to bed and shortly after, we got a message that we used 75%…and then shortly after that another message that we had used 100%. I apologized that I had not noticed it sooner but that was not enough and Tim simply replied…”This stuff always happens because you never pay attention.” 

Needless to say, the next day while getting ready to leave, I attempted to put in my contact and it was like the Home Alone scene with the aftershave! The contact touched my eye and I immediately screamed “what did he do to me?!” while grabbing my eye! Haha. Tim had gotten me new contact solution, which I assumed was like any other solution…but it wasn’t. Of course I should have known…it had peroxide and after the burning sensation began to go away, I opened my eye and then decided to read the directions. Directions that specifically told me not to do what I had just done.  

Okay, maybe Tim was on to something when he said I don’t pay attention! Regardless, I was grumpy…

And then it was time to go to the marriage conference! Honestly, at this point I was just ready to go so that Tim would realize how wrong he was to get so upset over something so little!! In reality, I was mad at myself because I knew there was some truth to what he had said.

We checked in to our hotel then went to meet up with a few other couples from our church at the Paul Tripp marriage conference! And boy did things really hit home…with every point that was made! 

Right away Mr. Tripp began talking about how behavior and words are formed from the inside of our heart, which also reveals more about the person saying the words and I’m thinking “oh yeah! This is going to be a good conference…for Tim!” 😃 But, just like that, Tripp then says we need to listen for ourselves…not for our spouses! Wait what?! No! I don’t have nearly as many contributing factors to the problems in our marriage 😉

And once I actually started listening “for myself”, I realized how many excuses I actually use!  

We were all laughing at different scenarios Tripp would share such as how a husband might feel his blood boil when someone eats the last blueberry muffin that he had been looking forward to, or how a wife might feel with kids “conspiring” to mess up the house after she has just cleaned it. Little things right? Not really because our lives live in these small moments! Those good things can turn bad if it results in us lashing out at the ones we love.

Tripp continued to say that money, intimacy, stress, work…”are not the issues of our problems but the location of where the problems show up!”

Dang it! The more I thought about that one quote, the more I realized my heart is still scared and bitter and I use almost everything I encounter throughout the day to justify why I get short with the kids or why I might snap at Tim…and a lot of the excuses stem from my health. I’m too sick, I’m too tired, I’m overwhelmed or I have too much work to do…and the list goes on! 

This is not what I was expecting out of the conference! 😳 

Tim and I went out to dinner afterwards and both agreed that while some of the things were hard to hear, and we admitted how wrong our actions and words were at times, it truly was an eye opener and we were so grateful that we were able to attend! 

As we were heading back to the hotel, we saw Ben Carson’s bus so we pulled over to snap a picture. Child locks were on so it took Tim forever to get them figured out in the dark but I finally got that picture…  

And then once we turned to drive away, we were all of a sudden facing a man across from us in a suit sitting in a dark car staring us down. Very apparent he was with secret service and I instantly felt uncomfortable. I opted not to snap a picture of him even though I desperately wanted to! His glare indicated that he did not have much of a sense of humor😳

The second day of the conference tugged on my heart just as much as the first day! And again, so much good stuff but I can’t even come close to describing everything! 

Marriage is a way for God to transform us and by far the best quote of the conference…”marriage is always victimized or enhanced by what we treasure.” And how true is that?! I want our marriage to be filled with love and joy and faithfulness. I want to make sure I’m seeking out the true treasure in order to enhance our marriage!

It was an amazing conference and I recommend it to anyone if given the opportunity to go to or even watch it on video! We laughed and maybe I cried a little too 😉

I have a blueberry muffin for my screensaver as a reminder that something as little as a “lump of dough with blueberries” isn’t worth getting upset over and crushing the spirit of those I love…nothing is! And even Tim apologized for his words over the data drama😉😍   

Hope you all have a good week and don’t forget to caucus on Monday! 

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