What a week it has been, and it’s only Tuesday. I think everything that can go wrong for me and Tim has gone wrong. Issues with each and every kid, cars not running right, issues with cows, work and my symptoms have come on full force again…a reminder that the upcoming procedures are definitely a must!
Kids are fighting constantly, Tim is crazy busy and I’m pushing through the pain so that I can continue to juggle my job, the kids, the house. Have I mentioned the mind blowing painful symptoms that double me over and stop me in place?
So after three days of this, I finally got a few minutes away to myself today…I went to get milk! And truly, any of you moms out there reading this…a 10 minute trip to the grocery store and back is almost as exciting as walking o the beach at times! Haha! That 10 minute trip of just me and some reconnecting with God…complete silence until back home!! Then breathe, regroup, take another breath…and walk back in to that crazy house of madness that I am honestly blessed to call my family…and I should point out…it was just Tim and Asher home at the time 😜
Anyway, that’s all the break I need but after the last few painful and stressful days…my alone time turned to frustration as a truck flew past me and kicked a rock up in to the windshield. It was so loud that I actually swerved and ducked down, thinking something was coming through my window! I immediately saw the little hole and break it had left and for a split second, I was about to let all of my frustrations out.
I called Tim and he simply joked “you seem to bring on bad luck every where you go!” And that one comment…I felt the tears start to swell up. He of course followed by saying not a big deal even though I continued to insist that it would probably lead to a crack across the entire windshield.
And as my first few tears started to fall while I was going into that familiar spot of “why is there always something?”, “why does everything have to be so hard for us?” Blah blah blah, I stopped and thought “really?” The physical pain, the emotional stress, the obstacles with our kids, watching my grandma battle leukemia, hearing how Tim’s brother and sister are dealing with their cancer battle…all of the challenges so far this week I have been able to pray over and not let it get me down. Putting complete trust in God with every situation has been my coping skill….the only coping skill that works!
And now a little rock cracking my windshield is going to be my breaking point?? No pun intended😜
And just like that I was over it!! I’ve already got a few stories to go with the dents and scratches that are already on the van so who cares?! I mean yes, of course we want to take care of our things but even Tim shrugged it off. I am an accident waiting to happen, we already know this! Haha!
And I know this all seems so silly but to me it was victory today! Tim and I have had a lot of struggles in our marriage and honestly, if this would’ve happened a few years ago, which it did…with a lot of things😬…Tim was quick to blame me. He was always able to point out something I did or didn’t do that caused whatever negativity was going on in our lives…no matter how small.
But today, he didn’t even think twice about the windshield and said he would see if there was anything he could do after looking at it!! And when I walked in the door he was laughing and telling me about something Asher had done while I was out! He made the situation what all these little situations have always been…no big deal!
And yet these little things are what actually used to put the most strain on our marriage! So this of course reminded me of our good and angry series we are doing at church. God uses these situations in our marriage to grow us and the enemy uses them to tear us apart. One of my biggest comebacks to Tim and his harsh words was always to give him the silent treatment. Boy, I couldn’t wait until he would get home just so I didn’t talk to him!
And you bet while I was thinking this series on good and angry would be perfect for Tim…last week’s class actually pointed out the “silent treatment” and I was so ashamed at how insulting that truly was!
The class showed me that in my moment of not talking to Tim…it was a moment that I was treating him as if he was dead to me! But that’s never what I was intending!! I just wanted to get across to him how much he had hurt me with his words or his actions! Which I also know is not right to do!!
I mean honestly, I am fighting for my life and we’re going to waste our days arguing over him not appreciating the meals I cook for him or me not appreciating how hard he works or not helping more around the house?!
Tim and I have had a rough last few days and we could have let these little things that really don’t matter in the end, get to us. We could have used several little things as fuel to take our frustrations out on each other but we didn’t and boy am I grateful for that. And I also know it’s because we both do a lot of praying and try to react the way we know God wants us to react!
Instead, Tim has done silly little things to make me smile such as leaving monopoly game pieces on the counter for me to play…and only Tim will understand just how big of a difference this little gesture made to me on one of my horrible days…
So, no point really to my blog except appreciate the little things because they can mean the world…but also don’t stress over the little things that can tear your world apart by letting them become bigger things than they should!
Thank you Tim for the little things that have made some of my rough days a little more enjoyable 😍