Watching from the sideline

Well it’s been another long week. Yesterday we had my grandma’s funeral which is always hard to say that final goodbye. It was a nice service, however, and it was great to see my entire family all together!  After the funeral we stopped by to say hi to my other grandma and ran into my brother and his family. My cousin, my sister and I have some inside jokes going on about who is grandma’s favorite…well I would say me and my brother by far😍   Unfortunately, I was also diagnosed with degenerative disc disease last year, yes, another stinking issue, which seems to have flared up a few weeks ago. I have not had much improvement with my back yet so I still spend the majority of my time on the floor with my heating pad! Tim refers to it as my “nest” with all of my blankets and meds…all of my necessities 😜

 
And on my good days I move downstairs to the couch😄

 
And go figure the kids started swimming lessons this week and due to the severity of my back and leg pain, I am not able to drive so Skyler has been taking us. Skyler and Tim have both been a tremendous help with taking turns getting me to my physical therapy and other doctor appointments, not to mention helping with the housework! 

Today it was Skyler’s turn so after she dropped me off at physical therapy she killed time by taking the kids to the park!   

   

While I am so thankful for all of the help from Skyler and Tim, it’s hard not to go to “that place” of feeling like such an inadequate wife and mother. I have really been fighting some of those nasty thoughts because when I have back problems, I am completely unreliable. I can stand a few minutes to do something quick but then I have to lay back down. I don’t even eat much because I can’t sit long enough to finish my meal. 

Needless to say, it had been a very trying last couple of weeks. 

I am hopeful for relief next week when I get the injection. I just need to hold on for a few more days!  

Other than that, things continue to be the same! Tim is super busy with the cow business, kids are busy with summer activities and as I watch all of the movement around me I continue to be reminded of how blessed I truly am. 

This back is just a little hiccup and in no time the pain will subside and I’ll be back to actually living life instead of just watching it pass me by. In the meantime I keep reading my devotions, praying and listening every day to my “go to” song because I know somehow, even though I don’t understand it right now, my struggles are truly blessings…  

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