Random πŸ’­

Today was my follow appointment in regard to the ct scan I had done on my back before Christmas. I have been having more pain and discomfort in my lower back, not to mention the numbness in my right foot again. And due to no school today, I had some much welcomed company!!

Leah and Asher joined me and Leah asked if going to the doctor was the only thing I ever do when they are at school?! Yep…pretty much! I am very relieved to share that a third back surgery will not be required!! The doctor and I discussed my scans and I do have a bone spur along with some mild disc degeneration which could be the reason for my back discomfort. Unfortunately, the numbness in my foot is most likely the permanent side effect from when my back was so bad. However, at this time, she does not feel the issue is significant enough to do surgery and I agreed!! She encouraged me to possibly get an injection at the pain clinic if my pain worsens or I am always able to call their office back if needed. I should also continue with my stretches and treadmill. I was so thankful to hear this news!!

I called Tim to update him on my appointment and then he asked if I had heard anything in regard to when my pulmonary angioplasty will be. I gave him the same answer I have given everyone else who has been asking…nope, and I’m not going to call and beg to get it set up.

I’ve said it before but I just don’t like this procedure because they will be going through my groin again and for the most part I feel pretty good right now!! I mean yes, I still have the chest pressure, the shortness of breath, I still have that groggy feeling in the morning and I still struggle with fatigue but I am active!! These are just my normal…not normal symptoms!! I have been going strong since my SVC angioplasty in December and it feels so good to be doing things!

I was playing hard back in Florida between volleyball, swimming and so much walking!! I have been doing Fitbit challenges with friends and family which really motivates me!! I am also back on my treadmill or walking outside 20-40 minutes almost every day since the New Year!! I’ve been goofing around with the kids a lot and I even started a 30 day challenge in which I am decluttering my house!! By the way…if I die soon, for the first time ever I want you to actually OPEN THE CABINETS and LOOK IN MY CLOSETS!! Haha!

Anyway, I know my illness is confusing and I always refer to my eight stents and group them together but they are really two different sets of stents that require two different treatments by two different doctors. It has just been one month since my SVC angioplasty where I have six stents in my superior vena cava and now I need a pulmonary angioplasty to open one of the two stents in my pulmonary artery!

But I feel the best I have felt in a long time!! I was really hoping I could go at least six months without either of these procedures, well honestly I was hoping a year! I know when there is even a hint of any of my stents being closed that I need to get into the doctor right away! It’s always better for them to do this surgery sooner than later because if I wait too long I risk the chance of them not being able to open any of my veins and arteries back up again.

My whole fight with this disease though has been reactive and now I have a chance to be proactive. Before I felt lousy and nobody could help me…now I feel okay and they want to do angioplasty! I told my husband “why fix what isn’t broken?” but we both couldn’t help but laugh!

Uhhhh…the doctors are just trying to keep together the already broken pieces of me!! So with all of that being said, I will be calling the doctor again on Wednesday to schedule the procedure if I do not hear back from them by then.

I started going through and deleting pictures on my phone when I got home this afternoon and I came across a picture I typically don’t like to share…at least the first side of it. This is a comparison from Skye’s first day of kindergarten and then me and her on the last day of senior year before she graduated! I was diagnosed with fibrosing mediastinitis when she was 2 years old and here she is at the age of 5 just starting school! My face is extremely puffy as you can see…

…which we would finally discover two years later was because my superior vena cava was 100% blocked.

Yes…not until over two years later before someone finally figured it out! My symptoms were just starting to come on full force when she started school but nobody took me serious. Nobody could even begin to imagine how hard I would be fighting for my life those next several years.

I kid you not…I probably stared at that picture a good ten minutes crying and talking with God. I can look back now and see all the good He has done in my life when I was scared, angry, bitter, lonely and just consumed with that hopeless and defeated feeling.

But then that picture on the right!!! To be standing there with my daughter when so many doctors said I wouldn’t be made me cry and praise the Lord even more.

And to see a thinner face, not because I lost weight (I weigh a lot more now than I did back them haha) but because the Lord put in my path one doctor to help me in the midst of despair and me giving up…which then led to an amazing team of doctors who currently are doing what they can today to keep me alive!

Shortly after the picture of me and Skye on her last day of school…was a picture of me and Asher on his FIRST day of school!

And I had an overwhelming desire to keep living this life! God, please let me be able to have a comparison picture with him in 12 years!!

Don’t get me wrong, I have always wanted to live but this sense I had to keep pushing forward was so strong in that moment. I have always said I am blessed with my family and I am extremely thankful for the fact that God has carried me through so many days here on earth.

But looking at the pictures of me and Skye makes me want to be able to do the same thing with Asher when he is 18. I said in an earlier blog that I was blessed to turn 44 but that really isn’t that old like I had mentioned! I still have so much life to experience with all of my kids!!

And that picture of my swollen face, now knowing all the symptoms that would follow, the struggle it would be to find help…and then looking at where I am today, I guess that one doctor was right when he said I am a walking miracle.

Of course I want to be here to see my kids grow up but I also trust that God is still with me through all of the joys and struggles that I face today. I have faith that He is only working good in my life regardless of my circumstances so whether He brings me back home to Him this year, or in 40 years, I am thankful to God for every new day here that He blesses me with.

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