Tomorrow I am off to Iowa City for a follow up in regard to the results from my heart monitor. I don’t know what to expect. The results showed abnormalities, but supposedly everyone has these arrythmias…yet I feel them a lot, they interrupt my sleep and my life. With my major health issues will they attempt some type of treatment or wait until I become worse? With the rare hypertension, treatment may not even be an option regardless.
Is it time for me to accept this is the best I might ever feel? Will I spend a 4 hour round trip in the car just to be sent home with a sympathetic look from the doctor because he can’t help me?
To be honest, it has been a long week…and it’s only Tuesday. I am tired and it seems that once again, our strength and faith are being tested. I have failed miserably with my patience and it was the one day I didn’t take the first 10 minutes out of my day to pray. Funny how praying…or not praying can end up setting the whole tone for the day.
And Tim is still working tonight, trying to get things done over at the farm so that he can be with me tomorrow. Of course it never fails that when he tries to get ahead of the game…well…one step forward, two steps back. Everything that could have went wrong for him today, did.
This set him off into panic mode and frustration but surprisingly he was able to catch himself and be thankful as he knows things can be worse. I however, was left blaming myself for his struggles. If I didn’t have all of these appointments all the time, he wouldn’t have to bust his butt so much. (Ok, that just made me giggle because I thought of what his sisters Cathy and Brenda said last weekend about Tim’s work ethic as a kid…along with some very funny stories!)
But really, he does works hard to provide for his family, nothing has come easy for us and everything we’ve been blessed with is because of his determination, hard work and simply by God’s grace.
I have tried to talk him in to letting me go alone tomorrow, the quiet time might do me some good. But he wants to be there to make sure I ask the questions needed to be asked. Plus, he told me I looked like death yesterday so I think he has a few questions of his own! Ha! Compliments sure do change when the chronic illness comes out in a girl!
So regardless, we know we are both being tested and we are trying to encourage each other to stay faithful with whatever God has in store for us.
BECAUSE…we do have some exciting things coming up, however, we aren’t able to share just yet, but very soon. And NOOOO, I am not pregnant!! The closer we get though, the trickier things seem to be so we just keep pushing forward and know that things will all work out in God’s time.
Thank you again for all your prayers and let’s see what tomorrow brings!