Who was I putting my trust in…

Well…I didn’t quite make a year! I had angioplasty to open my stents up back in June but by the end of September I started to notice symptoms again. At first I put it off as a cold or allergies but as the days went on, symptoms began to intensify. First the fullness in my head, followed by swelling in the face and legs. After a short hike with the kids…

Asher pointed out that it looked like my feet had baseballs in them because I don’t always swell this bad!!

My face had also started to get puffy and the shortness of breath with fatigue kicked in. I assumed that my hypertension was getting worse but I tried to push on through the days until that horrid chest pain kicked in. I also had extreme pressure in my neck. I was feeling absolutely miserable so I decided to call Iowa City. I discovered that my regular interventional radiologist was back in the country so I was very happy when it was him who set me up with an appointment for another venogram and possible angioplasty.

Within two weeks Tim and I were back in Iowa City for another procedure.

We snagged a quick selfie before I was taken back to get prepped while he was stuck to hang out in the waiting room.

Nothing went the way I expected….I did not know any of the nurses, my doctor did not do the procedure and they drew up tons of blood work to the point the nurse was squeezing my upper arm in order to get enough blood to fill all the vials.

When I had shared with family and friends that I had to come in for yet another procedure only four months after my last one I was quick to follow up with “it’s fine! My regular doctor is back, so it’s fine! God is good!” So during this entire mess…I chuckled and was like “God why did you let me praise you for my doctor when you knew he wouldn’t be doing my procedure? When you knew this entire appointment was going to be absolutely confusing and overwhelming for me?” I then shot Tim a quick message to let him know I was being wheeled back to the operating room…

And once again…I knew nobody. I was reminded to breathe on several occasions and was instructed to hold my breath for certain images they were trying to get throughout the procedure. Turns out all three of my left stents were 100% blocked and my right stents were 50% blocked. The procedure took longer than normal as this is the first time any of my SVC stents have completely closed since getting them. After two hours of keeping my leg flat in recovery, I was released…in a wheelchair. I pointed out to the nurse that I never use a wheelchair but she had said I might still feel groggy from the medicine and insisted. As I got in to the wheelchair I looked at Tim and I could tell he knew what I was thinking…

Just get me around the corner and then I can walk!

I absolutely love this man and couldn’t help but giggle at some of the scenarios I get him in to!

I had been extremely overwhelmed by the way the whole day had played out and Tim could tell so there was a lot of silence on our drive home. In the midst of tears, however, the Lord blessed us with an amazing sunset…

and I was able to thank Him for providing me with a doctor who was able to open my stents back up.

Once home, the recovery seemed to be a little harder on me this time and by the third day I found myself withdrawing from everyone! I wasn’t answering my mom’s calls and I was keeping messages to friends short…if I even responded at all. My chest was pounding and it hurt to breathe. My back had obviously been agitated and I was no longer able to walk without being in pain. My oxygen wasn’t going above 90 and my sugars were completely out of whack…

I sent my favorite meme to Tim, a meme I send as a joke when I am not doing well physically…

While I laughed it off to Tim, I was crying on the inside and he sensed that. My pain was so intense that it took me back to when I was first diagnosed. I bounced from bed to couch tossing and turning, trying to position myself just right so that I could breathe with a little less pain. As I played the events over in my head I again realized that I seemed to be putting more trust in my regular doctor than I was putting in God. Because if I truly was giving God the glory then it should not matter which doctor I see…God is going to provide who I need and what I need…when I need it.

It’s now been over a week since my procedure and I am finally starting to feel life back in this old body of mine! I am so thankful that I continue to have these opportunities…as hard as they might be…to re-examine exactly where my heart is. I am grateful for God’s mercy as He hears my cries and wraps his love around me through people like you who send me messages of encouragement and through my church family who provides meals and prayers and love for my kiddos. I am also thankful for those of you who truly understand the reason why I share my story with you! I have said this from day one, I do not share looking for pity but I share because I want you to know you are not alone! I want God to use my story to encourage you just like some of your stories have encouraged me…

After talking with my doctor, my disease does not seem to be progressing which I am extremely thankful for but there is a chance the stents just aren’t holding up like they used to so I may need to get new ones. I am scheduled for another venogram with possible angioplasty in December…two days after my birthday.

Until then, I am just taking it one day at a time and we will see what December brings…or maybe January after we get back home from our holiday vacay.😉

Hope you all are staying healthy and can enjoy the holiday season with family and friends!

2 thoughts on “Who was I putting my trust in…

  1. Suzan says:

    Becky thank you for sharing and it is impossible to feel your pain. I am grateful you know the Lord and He is first in your life and directs your ways. Your relationship with Jesus makes each day better and you cast your anxieties on Him for He cares for you. You, Tim and your family are in my prayers and our group lifts you up in prayer. Keep looking up Dear Becky.


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