While the news we received was to be expected, it has still been an extremely exhausting day! 

First off, I am happy to say that the doctor loved my book and this was the first thing we talked about when he came in. Even every nurse we came in to contact with had read, or was reading my book! 

The doctor also looked at Tim and said from the sounds of it he’s a pretty supportive husband, and that says a lot because a lot of men might not stick around or be as involved as Tim is and I couldn’t agree more! 

I got a little teary eyed just for the fact that it wasn’t me telling Tim how much I appreciate him, but somebody else acknowledged to Tim what an amazing support and husband he is…what a great hard working man he is!😍😍 #blessed

Dr. Hornick really went through everything so thoroughly with us today and we were also able to see where all of my stents are located, as well as where all of the scar tissue is. So now I will try to explain the progression the best I can.

The masses in my chest are indeed still growing so unfortunately my cough is not due to an infection, but the fact that the mass is now blocking part of my airway. He explained that due to the blockage, my brain is getting signals for me to cough to try to get rid of whatever is blocking the airway…and due to it being scar tissue, obviously no matter how much I cough, it will not clear up the blockage, if that makes sense? 

I am going to begin nebulizer treatments in order to help prevent some of the severe coughing spells I am having. I will also try another medication to help with my coughing as well, especially after eating or when the cough is so bad that it causes me to get sick. 

And then the fabulous six minute walk, which I always do okay on, well this time my oxygen dropped as low as it ever has but thankfully I am holding on…by two points, of not requiring oxygen at this time! A little bit of sunshine in my dreary day🙃

And as far as my heart, my coronary artery, one of the main arteries that provides blood flow to the heart is also moderately blocked due to a new mass of scar tissue. My doctors still need to get together and discuss what our next step needs to be in regard to this issue.

BUT, I did sign a release so my doctor is sending my scans to the Mayo Clinic and will be corresponding with the doctor there who has been doing the study on treatment for fm!! Tim and I were already under the impression that due to the fm affecting my heart and me having pulmonary arterial hypertension, that I won’t be a candidate as this new treatment is a type of chemotherapy…something else I’m not too crazy about but it has been successful in shrinking the fm masses that aren’t calcified so I feel it would be worth a try!

However, since I still have several non calcified masses in my chest, those masses will continue to grow and do damage so my doctor feels it won’t hurt to see if I can become a part of that study.  

While this is discouraging news, Tim and I have been handling it the best we can. It wasn’t until Skyler asked me how my appointment went that I had to fight with every ounce of my being not to cry yet be honest and hopeful for her. She’s to the age where I am up front about what is going on, and that is extremely difficult to do because I love all of my kids more than anything and never want to see them hurting, especially because of me. But boy did I sob when I dropped her off!😢

I am soooo extremely grateful for Dr. Hornick as he has always went above and beyond to try to figure out this crazy disese and help me. I have an amazing team at U of I and am beyond thankful for all that they do for us!!

So that’s it. I’m sorry my heart’s just not in it to blog right now, it’s a lot to sink in…but I figured I would provide a quick update as a lot of you have been asking! Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words😍

Enjoy the weekend and stay warm!!! 

 

Tim and I came in to the new year motivated with a positive and determined attitude! We were going to get caught up on our work, our bills and start some healthier living! Maybe take some time off to enjoy a family vacation, even if only for a few days! A little break from the every day grind. But…

my first mistake…all of my doctor checkups were scheduled for the first month of the new year! I was hoping to hit Iowa City hard in January then be done for six months…yeah yeah wishful thinking!

I was in Iowa City on Monday, just a follow up on some of the female issues I’ve been dealing with…quick trip and I’d be good to go…wrong! So, come to find out, my body is weird…who knew right?! Unfortunately my body continues to reject treatments for these issues I am having so I go back in two weeks to discuss our next move. 

Basically I have one option left, which I’m fairly confident won’t work and I don’t know if I even want to try it but then it comes down to some type of surgery…something else I don’t want. 

I called Tim and I always sense the fear in his voice as he waits patiently for me to fill him in on how things went. First off, I’m just leaving the hospital at the time I thought I’d be home already so that maybe made me a little cranky! I didn’t really give Tim an option to talk but instead went right into telling him what a joke my body was, this appointment that was supposed to be five minutes lasted over two hours resulting in me having two ultrasounds, another follow up in two weeks and blah bah blah. Dead silence!

I asked Tim if he was still there and he slowly said yes. After being so rude and not asking how his afternoon went, I apologized. His response was that he was going to tell me he had a terrible morning, the cows were a big hassle, something broke that he now had to fix in the barn, then he came home and after all day of installing a new sink and two trips to Norbys, the sink still leaks and is torn apart again…  

but then he finishes with “you ruined my moment and I guess I really can’t complain because my day wasn’t as bad as yours.” 

While I thought that was a sweet gesture of him to acknowledge that, it actually made me reevaluate my situation because everything seemed to go wrong in his day, yet he considered my day to be worse?! 

And now we are on our way to Iowa City to see my lung doctor….  

 
 and I have my list of questions ready! The meds that I had been trying, along with the inhaler, have not been effective. Yeah I know…weird body, meds and treamtments not working…this blog is just full of surprises huh?!! 😜 While I think my cough seems better at times, I still battle it every night, and every night I continue to get sick from extreme coughing attacks. The fatigue has also set in again, making it a struggle to get through the day!

While today is my first time seeing him since the scans, when I talked to the doctor on the phone, he confirmed that there was a good chance the cough was from my fm so the meds might not work, he was right…yet he also said the area where my lung collapsed could most likely not be stented. I really don’t want this cough to be a forever lingering side effect of my illness, but I also know I should be thankful if this is the worst of my symptoms for now.

Today I will do the routine labs, pulmonary functioning tests and hopefully he will have also had a chance to talk with my heart doctor about my collapsed lung as well as the new arteries that have blockage around my heart. I should have more answers this afternoon…at least I am praying so.

Then next Tuesday I go in for my SVC stents which it is possible I may need to do a quick angioplasty to open them up…and the following Monday after that, back to Iowa City for my female stuff🙃 Wheeew!

In the meantime my back has been making great improvement and I am cutting back on physical therapy so yeyyyy, at least some part of my body is cooperating! 

And my inlaws have even been doing some of my physical therapy exercises with me for encouragement…another sarcastic comment there because they actually did one of my exercises, planking…only to show each other up with them each ranging anywhere from over a minute to 2.5 minutes…which they all “could have gone longer” but only did enough to out beat the other one😂…all while I continue with my 15 seconds three times a day! Haha! But at least it was fun entertainment and maybe I’ll have some new exercises for you all on Sunday!😉

So while the new year has started and Tim and I continue to be faced with many challenges, I think we have both done pretty well at staying focused on the positive and not letting this all get us down. Tim is quick at making me laugh when he knows I am ready to cry out in frustration! And with a big appointment today I am extremely grateful for his company and humor….but let’s skip the cross eyes while driving in the fog! Haha kidding mom!! We were parked 🤓  

This is our life, and my medical things will always be ongoing so really our attitude is the one thing we can control…even though it is still a struggle to do so at times!

Oh and as far as eating healthy….puppy chow for snacks yesterday…   

 
And carrots for my sad snowman😂   

     

  
And while we already do a pretty good job of eating healthy…we really are trying to improve some of our eating habits including healthier popcorn, which we watched in amazement as Tim really put some muscle in to it…😂😂   

 

Life sure is more fun when we choose happiness over frustration and bitterness!

Pray for safe travels this morning as we head to Iowa City!  

Tim and I had been attending Prairie Lakes church in Cedar Falls for around 5 years. It’s a wonderful church and every pastor that preaches there does an amazing job. Not to mention the worship band is pretty awesome too! 

The church was so good in fact, that it ran us out…and I mean this in the best way possible! 

Tim and I have been faced with many challenges over the years and it seemed like every Sunday we sat in church, we were the only ones in the room. No matter what obstacles we were facing, and no matter what pastor was preaching…they always nailed our situation dead on. Often times Tim would come out of the service telling me he had fallen asleep (not really)…but meaning that he knew God was trying to get our attention through the sermon we had just heard as well as comforting us in our time of need!

It was also the pastors from PLC that listened to us when Tim and I struggled in our relationship from all of the stress of finances and sickness.  And they encouraged us to attend financial peace university-which I would highly recommend as a must for anyone who hasn’t taken it! Not only does it help with money but it also really makes you aware of so many other underlying issues in the marriage! We absolutely loved this class!

As we continued to listen to the sermons every week, Tim and I realized we were simply staying comfortable and not really growing in our faith. We were not getting involved! God was challenging us to make a move! It was because of Prairie Lakes, that we would begin taking steps in our journey and begin to make God the priority…we even made a big scary step…joining a small group 😬😉

And once we joined, it wasn’t scary at all, but instead the people were extremely kind, caring, a great support and wonderful at holding each other accountable for our own personal relationships with Christ! Not to mention challenging us in our spiritual growth as well as developing some meaningful friendships!

So, after some praying, Tim and I decided that we should try to be more involved in our own community. And while it was extremely difficult to leave Prairie Lakes, we started looking around at local churches. We began visiting Grace in Waverly and the worship band grabbed my attention immediately with the powerful songs and great music! 

And, the very first sermon we attended, we again felt it was directed right at us. A new series on broken and blessed. When Pastor Jim started preaching Tim looked at me …and I knew exactly what he was implying. We had found our new church home😊

The kids are also able to participate in the Wednesday night ministry at Grace due to it being in town! There is something for all four kids and they love it! Even better, they are excited to share with us what they did and discussed during the night! 

Grace also has classes the adults can take, which Tim and I did a class on parenting…but if there are no adult ministries then Tim and I have the chance to run errands or enjoy dinner to ourselves while the kids are at church! It’s a win win all the way around!

PLC also has a great kids ministry on Wednesday night, but with the extra 25 minute drive, we often declined to go due to the fact we wouldn’t get home until pretty late in the evening, considering it was a school day. This was a big reason we began seeking out to find a local church…wanting our kids to get more involved and develop a stronger relationship with Jesus!

It was a very hard decision to make but Grace made it a little easier! It is because of Prairie Lakes that Tim and I began to really evaluate our roles as Christians and the fact that we needed to be doing more! We want to continue our walk in Christ and we want to be more involved…even if it might be out of our comfort zone…to make a difference in our neighbors, in our town and in our community…and this is exactly what PLC had been encouraging…to reach people from our own little part of Iowa!

And as for Grace, everyone welcomed us from the day we stepped foot in the church, extremely friendly and inviting! My radio interview had actually been shared with them and they immediately offered to help us in any way that they could, most important though, they began praying for us! 

The sermons have also helped me to get a better understanding of the bible! The pastor does a great job of explaining what the scripture actually means, something I really struggle with being able to do on my own! Not to mention the church members also do some really great things for those in our community as well as others around the world. How can we not want to be a part of this church?!

God also used Grace to challenge me in facing one of my biggest fears…public speaking! I was given the opportunity to share my testimony…which the first thing I learned, next time…I need to have Kleenex with me!!!

Once I got up in front of everyone I really struggled as I realized in that moment that it had been over 15 years since I had actually spoken in front of anyone, specifically, my college stage fright class so…I panicked! 

Sure I’ve done radio and TV interviews but that was just me and maybe 3 extra people tops in those situations, not a whole congregation looking at me! I tried praying for God to calm my nerves, but that only made me fumble with the words I was trying to read out loud!  🤓

But, God did get me through it and I was able to share how God continues to bless us through all of the brokenness. I just hope I got the message He intended for me to get across through my tears, trembling voice, sniffling and crumpling of papers! 

We really feel that while Grace is a smaller church, it is a perfect fit for our family and we look forward to seeing what God has in store for us as we start out the new year. Tim and I are so thankful that God continues to put people in our lives that help us to grow in our faith…even if it means facing some of our biggest fears!!😉

Here is the link to my testimony…

http://waverlygrace.org/sermons/

It’s after Christmas so the snow can stop now😉 While these aren’t ideal working conditions for Tim, it’s hard to complain when the kids are jumping with excitement at the sight of snow, “lots of snow,” as Asher would say! Thankfully it wasn’t terribly cold either so we were able to go out and have some fun…we’ll wait…after the first minute of severe drama from Leah losing her boot in the snow….  

then we were able to have some fun…  
 although Asher did have a difficult time walking due to the snow being so deep😍  
 By the way, Leah helped get him dressed!  

  Nothing better to warm up with than a nice cup of hot chocolate! 

And with it being Christmas break, Leah also got the chance to go hang out with grandpa and grandma for the night…and for the most part she waited patiently until it was time to go! She sure was excited!    Then finally….New Year’s Eve which means hotel time!!! It has been the tradition for quite a few years now that our family, along with some of Tim’s family stay at a hotel to swim, play games and try to stay up until midnight to ring in the new year! 😊

And once again, this year was a hit! Kids had a great time playing with their cousins and they made some new friends as well…doesn’t Leah look beautiful?!😍   

Asher still going strong after 11pm… 

  And all I will say about the night….to anyone who does not have the game Awkward Family Photos…GO BUY IT NOW!!! I have not laughed that hard in a VERY long time!! But it probably didn’t help that I was sitting by one of the most giggly people there!!😉 It was a riot and I can’t wait to order it!! Regardless of what games we play, it’s always a lot of fun and a great family tradition that the kids look forward to!!  

So, while it’s the first day of a new year, it was still another day of work on the farm…   

  Well, for daddy because the kids and I just watched him from the truck😏

    

Skyler is always able to make her job responsibilities a little more fun!

 

And at first, Tim and I were upset that we don’t have cable to watch the Rose Bowl but with what we are hearing on the radio…it doesn’t sound like we missed out on too much…but that’s okay because Asher thought it was a lot more fun to ride in the skid loader anyway😊   

It’s been a good year…but a tough year. We lost some really great people due to the complications from fibrosing mediastinitis, and while slow progress in treatments and cures are being made every day…it’s not enough! We need official research!!

Prayers continue to my fm family who continue this fight with me, and also for those who have lost their loved ones to this disease. Those lost have not been forgotten!

With that beig said, I also need to say a big THANK YOU to all who shared my last blog as I reached almost 3,000 people…my highest ever! So thank you for taking the time to share my story. I really hope my journey can somehow inspire others and bring even more awareness to this disease!  

We are so grateful for all of your continued support and prayers and look forward to what 2016 has to offer! #blessed 

Our first TV interview on a local news station and I must say my husband nailed it! I am so proud of him…and no odd lingering silence😉. Feel free to share this video…and maybe it will go viral as awareness for fibrosing mediastinitis! Haha, figure while we have some momentum no better time than now to push it! And thank you to everyone who has already shared it! Here is the link…

http://www.kwwl.com/story/30836066/2015/12/27/local-woman-battling-rare-disease

While I am amazed at Tim’s persistence in getting my book out there, and perhaps sometimes annoyed just because persistence is not my strong point😬…I am so thankful for him to have the opportunity to focus on something positive during such a trying time. His strength is my weakness in so many areas!!

The last couple of years have really been a struggle in regard to my health and it seems as though this is going to continue in to the new year. 

Today I got a call from my lung doctor confirming that my right lung has indeed collapsed more, most likely the reason for my reoccurring symptoms of this horrible cough, to the point I am getting sick every night, along with the piercing chest pain/pressure and head pain. By far the worst of symptoms I have dealt with in a very long time! I will be trying some medications including an inhaler, something I’ve never tried before, to see if that helps ease my symptoms. 

I am also waiting to hear back from my other doctor in regard to new blockage in some different arteries around my heart. As of now, although I most likely have more obstacles to face in the near future, no need to worry about what that may include until we know for sure.

Today I am just so thankful that while my right lung is getting worse…it’s already my bad lung and my left lung is still not affected at this time. So please, no reason to be sorry! I mean sure, we’ve hit a rough patch for quite some time now but, I’m still spending time with my kids, getting in date nights with my husband, meeting with our small group and making God the priority in our daily life. So while every day duties are definitely more of a challenge right now…I’m still doing them…and I’m still experiencing life!! For that I am grateful! 

After I got the call from my doctor today, this song popped up in my timeline. I felt it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. Have I mentioned how much I love Sanctus Real and the way God shows me reassurance through their music?!

But now I am going to bed as it has been a physically draining day….not sure if it’s my health or being home with my youngest two all day😜 Oh, and definitely not as rough of a day as my husband had! He came home with ice in his beard and eyelashes! 😬😳😍 Stay safe and warm everybody! 

What a busy and fun couple of days it has been! And now we are done! Kids actually get a chance to stay home and play with their new toys! I will admit, the game Pie Face, was pretty funny to play!

   
 And Leah was ecstatic to get her Barbie dream house. The kids were even nice enough to help dad put it together…   
I guess head first is one way to get all the pieces out of the box!😃

    

 And apparently the box is just as fun… 

I picked the easier toy to assemble and so far it’s still standing!  

Now that all of our Christmas celebrations are over it’s time to get back to business…at least Tim says so. 😉 He landed me an interview on our local news station Kwwl Channel 7 and we just recorded it today, meaning it will air tomorrow, Sunday on the 5pm and 10pm news. I was able to discuss what fibrosing mediastinitis is as well as my book so hoping to bring more awareness to this disease!!

I continue to have that hard cough, along with the chest pain/pressure and hoarseness, which will probably be noticed in the interview. So, while I might look rough and sound worse…my left lung is still going strong…and I did win a serious game of Spoons while spending time with Tim’s family on Christmas Day…so I will be okay! 😜It was a great day with all of us together…not just because I won…but because there was a lot of laughter!! And well, okay, we played several rounds of the game Spoons, so really I have nothing to brag about with just winning one! 😉

I am so thankful for another year of blessings and I was once again humbled by how good God is as I watched all four of our kids sit in church at the Christmas Eve candlelight service listening to the story about Jesus being born…the true meaning of Christmas. I’ve also heard the shrieks of excitement from opening their gifts, seeing them all come together to play and have fun….being a family! 

While Tim and I have had our share of struggles, those hardships truly have been blessings because it has grown us stronger in our faith and brought us closer as a family…and that alone makes for the perfect gift!
 

Now,don’t forget to tune in to Kwwl channel 7 news tomorrow at 5pm and 10pm! Depending how bad it is will depend if I share it🤓

It’s been a busy couple of weeks between appointments, Christmas parties, work and getting things ready for the upcoming holidays! 

And now with it being Christmas Eve, it’s time to start our family traditions! We always make a bunch of snacks to munch on Christmas Eve night after coming home from the candlelight service…which we just attended Grace Baptist and it was an AMAZING service!! Kids will probably open a gift or two them we will play games and watch a Christmas movie! But for now, let the baking begin…starting off with the Christmas cookies!  

Asher sure was enjoying himself!

 

Once cooled off, it was time to decorate and frost the cookies.    

  

  

Dad and his Christmas cow…   

Tim has also been spoiling me by celebrating my birthday all week long with little surprises every day! Flowers one day, dinner another day and a gift yesterday! Wonder what he has in store for tonight😉

And after a month of Tim complaining about the button he lost on his coat…and after a month of me forgetting about it…Skye jumped right in and sewed it on for him!! Thanks Skye and Tim says that’s the best Christmas present ever haha!   

He apparently has to strike a pose every time I get out the camera and is it just me…or is he still missing another button?! Haha!😍🤓

 Things are going to stay pretty busy over the next couple of days but I wanted to make sure and thank all of you who continue to follow my blog! Thank you for your support and prayers and blessings you have provided to me and my family over the year! Prayer is a powerful thing so thank you especially to those I don’t even know, who continue to pray for us! 

Wishing you all a wonderful and Merry Christmas from the Lalk’s!!! #Godisgood #blessed #family  

Wednesday I went in for my heart follow up and I will admit I was pretty excited to be going alone. Not that I don’t love having Tim go with me but I wanted to do some shopping for him and I assured him even with my new symptoms, it was probably a pulled muscle from coughing so hard and so much. This would just be a follow up so if anything, the doctor would have to order a few routine tests. No biggie!

And with Wednesday being one of our busiest nights between dance and church and homework…Tim agreed it would be best that he was home to do all of the running…just in case.

And within a few minutes of checking in and having my vitals taken…”just in case” happened. I explained the new symptoms I was experiencing with tremendous pain and pressure on the left side of my chest with a piercing sensation straight through to my shoulder blade. I informed the nurse it was probably a pulled muscle, however, my blood pressure was low, something around 95/55. 

This seemed to be a concern and she continued to ask more questions as to if this is a typical low for me but after skimming through my chart she concluded this was not normal and my blood pressure has always been great…on the left side that is. I joked that if it’s low on my left and high on my right it should all even out. She ignored my sarcasm and asked about other symptoms I had been having such as the cough, that foggy feeling in my head and extreme fatigue….my usual I told her! She continued to take notes and I continued with my joking saying that it was probably so low because I had no husband or kids with me…still no laughter! C’mon!! Now that’s funny…I was sent back to the waiting area.

Then my regular nurse called me back to a room and stated the doctor had seen my vitals so he would be seeing me next. Really? Isn’t low blood pressure better than high?

We continued talking and I said I simply need a zpack. She went through my records I had brought from my recent local ER trip and she confirmed my blood counts showed no infection so the zpack would not have helped. Why this dang cough and horrible chest pain then? It must be a pulled muscle, at least that’s what I was convincing myself it was. I waited patiently for the doctor and wished Tim was sitting next to me, especially because I knew what was to come…sad face to an empty chair Sarah😉  

Dr. Rossen came in and reviewed my symptoms yet again and ended up ordering a ct angiogram and functioning test of my heart. He referred to this as the “rolls Royce” of scans due to the updates of this machine! While waiting to receive the orders, I texted Tim to keep him informed. His first response of course, he was mad and knew better than not to have come with me. I mean really, how many times have we done this? We know better! I agreed saying whenever we think it’s something…it’s not, and when we think it’s nothing…it is. 

I was able to get in to do the testing that same day at 3pm so in the meantime, since I had over two hours to kill, I went out to the hall and sat in a chair to people watch, also trying to get a little snooze in as I felt extremely exhausted…that time of day where it’s impossible to keep my eyes open.

As I dozed off and on, and without Tim there to comfort and distract me, my mind began to drift. All these tests…most likely to show nothing which means I deal with the symptoms, but if they show something then only nasty procedures to follow, no easy fix, not a matter of more exercise or healthier eating, no easy pill to just manage my symptoms…but then I saw a young mom walk by pushing her IV and a stroller. My bitterness quickly disappeared as I thought…at least I’m not sick here, having to see my kids in a hospital, not being able to go home. 

But my heart deeply sank when I saw that young mother push the stroller up to the mirrored wall to show the reflection of her little girl, probably no more than 18 months. It was that little baby who had the tubes and IV and her mom was pushing her around to make her laugh and smile…a reminder of the reasons I am grateful I have the illness…and not my children!

I finally got ready for the scan and once the IV was in, I was set to go. I would also be getting some dye, the stuff that makes you all hot inside. With so many scans I’ve done, I knew what to expect…same ole story. This time, however, the contrast seemed hotter than usual, almost too uncomfortable, but I was able to make it through! Whewww! Time to hit Culvers and get home!

Not quite! Oddly, I got sick!! What?! I’ve had this junk how many times? I never get sick! Once out of the hospital, I called Tim to let him know I was on my way home but again, sickness struck and I had to pull over. My head began throbbing and I felt absolutely horrible!

I called Tim again, this time saying how much I missed him because I didn’t want to be driving the next two hours like this!  Tim was more concerned that this was my only reason I wanted him to be at my appointment with me, haha! I reassured him I missed him for so many reasons more😍 I then let him go as it seemed the more I talked the worse I felt. 

I was beyond frustrated at this point…angry actually, and then I had to get sick again…I will spare details but in the midst of it all, I look up just in time to see this….  

I don’t know why, but I thought “Really? Is this really in God’s plan?” I suddenly invisioned God up in His clouds writing out my life with this scene in it and I couldn’t help but laugh! Does God have a sense of humor or what?! And I mean that! Seeing that bus in that moment made my anger and frustration evaporate! I could not help being sick in my situation whereas those people on the bus would be bringing it on themselves😂 Yep, for whatever reason, my mind wandered all this way just from the sight of that bus, but it did perk me up enough to get me home.

And once home, after showing the kids the hospital’s choice of color for my bandage this time around, which I always think the wrist is the worst place for an IV…  

I went to bed and stayed there until morning! I don’t know why this dye affected me so bad this time, as though I had a procedure done, but this testing wasn’t a regular one so maybe the contrast was stronger. Either way, I have been drinking down the water…a typical regimen after all of my tests and procedures, to flush that junk out of my system as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, I did receive an email today from the doctor himself stating that there is blockage in a pulmonary artery and vein, however, he does not feel the area it’s in can be stented. He will be meeting with my pulmonologist to review the scan and figure out a game plan from there. We will then discuss the results and what we need to do in more detail.

I try not to complain too much about my symptoms because it is what it is, but this cough is absolutely ridiculous, to the point I become hoarse and it especially keeps me up every night with extreme coughing spells. Even Tim told me it was annoying…Oh I’m sorry babe…I’m sorry that nothing helps me but I’m especially sorry that this cough is bothering YOU honey😬😝 Oh shoot, I forgot I’m working on this…😉 But hey…Friday I had my eye exam and apparently five eye surgeries is all it takes because my eyes look great and no return visit for four months!

It’s been a fun weekend hanging out with the kids and we are appreciating the pretty mild temperatures for December! God has used every obstacle to grow us stronger in Him, making every obstacle a blessing, so there is no point in stressing over what may or may not come out of the results from these tests. 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and only SIX more days til Christmas!!!

I’ve had this blog written since the day my parents headed south…and with some rough days behind me…and maybe more ahead of me…I felt it was time to share. Not to mention seeing a post from my mom once again trying to justify to other people…but mainly to convince herself, how they can be away from family over the holidays…or at all. Well, here’s my take on it…

Every year after my family’s Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration, my parents head to Florida for the winter months. We all say our I love yous and pass out numerous hugs, seeing my parents for the last time until spring. Yes I will miss them and of course it’s sad to see them go, but I still get to talk to them! I still annoy my mom with every day morning phone calls, because as far as I’m concerned, they’re not on vacation where I need to let them be to enjoy themselves😍they’re at their other home…for 3 months!!  

I still get to share videos and pictures so they can stay on top of what the kids are doing…and the kids still talk to grandma and grandpa on the phone throughout the months as well, usually pleading to go to Florida with them😎

And every year my parents give the same response “c’mon down!” And every year I give the same reply “darn livestock!” 🐮🐄🐎

Each year, the closer it gets, I can sense my mom’s hesitation to leave. The calls get more frequent, “are you sure you’ll be okay with us gone? You know we can be home the next day if we need to be…for anything…anytime.” They tell all of us this!

But mom and dad…with me, the middle child🙃, the difficult child (not by choice of course😜), you seem to have forgotten. When I got my head stuck in grandma Ruth’s porch rails and the fire department came, you were there (throwing that in for the Reinbeck clan🤓), and that was only the beginning of my trials! 

Diagnosed with diabetes, the car accident when Skye and I were hit by that guy under the influence, the other car accident that sent me to the hospital…the same day dad was to leave for the boundary waters and even had his canoe on the hood of his car, literally so close to being gone…I called with blood running down my forehead asking as calmly as I could if dad had left yet because I knew he wouldn’t go if I told you what happened…but you sensed something was wrong and he stayed, you were there for me, the diagnosis of fm and SVC syndrome, all of the angioplasties and stent procedures, there, there, there and there for me. Two years ago, hypertension set in requiring new stents in my pulmonary artery, you delayed your trip and when I had to perform the procedure again the next year, you came home from Florida earlier than planned, you were there for me…

So, don’t reassure me that you can be here in two days if I need you…because my whole life, you haven’t done anything that would make me even doubt for a second that you wouldn’t be here for me in my time of need.

I watched my hard working father go to a job for over 35 years, a job that he hated on most days, but he still went…to support his family. And if we were outside playing and saw dad come walking over the hill, before his shift was to be over…we knew it was a really bad day😳and we knew to let him drink his coffee and get showered up before talking with him haha😁but he always went back the next day.

I also watched my father plan our family vacations with excitement in order to give us childhood memories and experiences and traditions to pass on to our own kids…and we are! Most important though, I got to see my father grow in his faith and I saw the transformation God did on his heart and his life…simply because of dad winning a golf tournament! Walking proof of what God is capable of and being able to see how God shaped my dad into the amazing father that he was…and is today!

And, I watched my mom try to work a job as long as she could outside of the home after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis…a crippling disease, in her 30’s. I have watched my mom over the years try to hide her frustration as she asks for help with a task as simple as buttoning her coat, tying her shoes, helping to put on her jewelry or even taking the cap off of a milk jug because her hands “don’t work” and having to pace herself when doing anything physical due to shortness of breath and even just walking up a few stairs is too much at times because the arthritis affects her feet, her entire body. 

I’ve watched my mom become diagnosed with numerous health issues so now instead of rheumatoid arthritis attacking her heart and lungs…several illnesses attacking her whole body. And in the midst of all of her health problems, her agony and medication changes, trying to find what works best for her pain and flare ups…she is still praising God and helping others over herself! 

So answer me this mom and dad…all those years you have been there for me…fighting for me to find answers in hopes of getting my life back…so that I am able to live my life…wouldn’t  you defeat the whole purpose of what you were doing for me if you stayed home for me in the winter months just because my health “might” turn for the worse? 

See mom and dad, you aren’t leaving any of us, you’re living your lives…and I wouldn’t want it any other way!! Plus, with mom’s terrible health issues too, south makes the aches and pains so much better, why wouldn’t you leave for the winter?! You know I wouldn’t want you giving up anything for me, but your whole lives were a sacrifice in doing what you needed to do to provide for our entire family…and for me, that also meant being the example I so desperately needed to see in some of my darkest days, an example of trusting, loving, having obedience and faith in God. I see how good God is…because of the parents you are!

You did your job too well because I know God has me, no matter what, so I’ll be okay while you’re getting your tan on 🏖

You are retired and while I am grown up, I will never stop needing you and you will never stop being mom and dad, but, this has been your life long dream, your goal we always heard you guys dream out loud about…to be on the beach during Iowa winters, and this is what you and dad worked so hard for! What an amazing example you are to show that if you work hard enough and don’t give up, anything is possible! Your dreams came true and we are all happy for you! This is your time!

 God has given you an opportunity to rest together…in the warm south…during the cold months! I suspect you honor Him and go where He leads you 😍 

I love you mom and dad! Cherish your time together…guilt free!!! Enjoy the company of your southern friends and your gang back in Iowa will be praying for you to have a beautiful, sunny and warm winter this year!🏝 ☀️💞 Well, Tim will probably be mumbling about you “city slackers” under his breath but you know that’s just him😉

Love you and see you in March!

Saturday was my first event for selling my books in Sumner and I want to thank all of you who came out! While I sold some books, I need to thank my mother in law for all of the work she did with creating gift bags and decorating the table! Everything looked great and she even made me want to buy them😊   

 Not only that, she sat with me the entire time and kept me company! So a very big thank you!!! She is so awesome because I have no creativity and would have been lost without her help! 

So, after a fun but long day, I ended up in the ER that night. Ha, yep, while I was finally feeling healthier again, I had developed a cough, a very nasty cough, followed by extreme chest pressure and sharp pain, shooting through my left chest to the back of my left shoulder blade. The pain had become so intense in my chest that it hurt to breathe and it hurt to move now. But I have felt fine otherwise!

I will admit I got a little nervous as my left lung is my good lung, and this chest pain and pressure, is exactly how it felt on my right side when we first discovered the mass on my right lung. My headaches also began to worsen on Saturday and the fact I had no other symptoms except for the cough and chest pain, I decided to go to the walk in clinic. 

Tim was at chores and I figured it might be a little bit of a hassle due to the symptoms I would have to describe but I braved it…I took Leah and Asher with me😬

First off, I need to figure out what doctor I saw in the clinic because she was awesome! Even though she looked at me with complete horror at first and asked why I wasn’t at the ER, she did listen to me explain my history and the fact that these “life threatening symptoms” are typical for me. However, the fact that I have never had any pain or discomfort on my left side, she just didn’t feel comfortable giving me antibiotics and sending me on my way, especially when she had asked me what symptoms led to my FM diagnosis… I had told her a cough that wouldn’t go away! Dang it, I said too much, what a rookie mistake! Just shows how much pain I was in as I couldn’t even think to leave out certain details that I knew would get me admitted 😉

I was escorted to the emergency room where an IV was started, an ekg was done as well as lab work and then a chest X-ray was to follow. In the meantime I had texted Tim letting him know that my trip to the clinic had resulted in an ER admit. So there I sat in my gown with an IV, along with Leah and Asher waiting patiently to get my X-ray  done…   

 Oh wait…did I say patiently, ER and kids in the same sentence?!  While Leah did great and sat quietly coloring, it only took a few minutes for Asher to realize it was a free for all. In no time he was throwing colors and digging through my purse throwing whatever he could get his hands on. But after I had to chase him out of my room trying to keep my IV from ripping out and my gown from falling down, I sent Tim the text…”get here now!” Thankfully Tim showed up just before they came in to take me for my chest X-ray. 

The X-Ray took no time at all and then I was back in the room and while Tim kept asking me questions, Asher’s voice got louder and I pretty much begged Tim to take them home. Haha! But really, for being in this situation, the kids did great and I really can’t expect too much from them even when I was anxious and wanted to run out of the room with them!

I did also apologize over and over to Tim as once again I felt like a burden, him having to rush straight from chores to come get the kids because I got stuck in the hospital!

He simply gave me a kiss, said he loved me and took the kids to McDonalds as I waited for the doctor to come in with the X-ray results. So far the labs and ekg looked okay…given my health status. Finally the doctor came in and said “good news, you’re not having a heart attack.” Go figure!

He continued to say that the X-ray looked about the same as it did from the last scan they had on file. He again said everything he checked for, cardiac wise, looked fine. He then followed by saying he was able to see all my “stuff” on the X-ray and it was “kind of neat.” I couldn’t help but giggle because with all the words to describe me, this was by far the best! I was sent on my way with them telling me Iowa City should be able to figure me out as I had informed him of my heart follow up this week. 

So there you have it, after 5 hours I was reassured I’m not having a heart attack. Of course I was relieved that my left lung still seems okay, but it was once again the reality of FM…painfully severe symptoms where doctors take immediate action to rule out deadly problems…and once the tests come back fine…I’m simply sent home to deal with the pain and the symptoms…just what’s to be expected with this disease! 

Sunday, I was able to make it to church with the family but it was a struggle…but I made it! We also went out to dinner with my in laws. Sunday’s are always nice but I also appreciated the nap I was able to get in! Tim, however, not so much of a nice relaxing Sunday! 

It’s December yet we had a tremendous amount of rainfall this weekend, so much that the basement in our farmhouse we’re renting out flooded. Like our weekend wasn’t eventful enough!? Mind you, this is our old house and it’s been an issue before so always an easy fix…at least that was Tim’s assumption.

I don’t know all of the details but I do know we now have a cracked, bulging (sounds like my back😳) basement floor from all the pressure of the water coming up from the ground…it actually cracked the cement!! Tim did not get home until almost midnight…does that time sound right Aunt Nancy?😉 He did have to stop for milk though too! Haha! 

Thank you to our tenants and Uncle James for helping to get the flooding under control! 

Overall, not a terrible weekend😋 Sold some books, got to have a nice day of visiting with my mother in law and kids are staying healthy!

And, today was a much better day for both of us! I am still having the pressure and cough but I know my left lung still looks good so hopefully these symptoms will subside soon! I am also feeling confident about my new job responsibilities. Then Tim was able to get away from the farm a little bit longer today and do some quick last minute shopping! 

I will be going to Iowa City for a follow up on my heart on Wednesday and then Friday I return to my infamous eye doctor to see if the 4th eye surgery took this time…which I have no comment on.😎 

Happy Monday everyone and it’s still raining so stay dry out there!!