Today we did our interview for the “Way We Live” award and I must say, interviews on camera, not our strong point!

I do first want to say that they knew nothing about my disease and indicated what a big group of applicants they had this year meaning, we were chosen to earn this award solely on our hard work, strong family values and dedication with agriculture. We did tell them that we were extremely surprised to be chosen with our small operation as we know so many families that deserve this award as well. But, Tim has also worked very hard to get that nursery up and running, and continues his hard work to try and expand our operation. I am extremely proud of him and we are truly honored that our friends thought of us and took the time to nominate us.

With that being said, again I am happy that we were chosen for this award without them knowing about my disease, but we did take the opportunity to bring awareness. We wore our shirts and I shared that I would be having a book out in August regarding the struggles of living with a rare disease that has no cure and limited treatment. I will admit I was not going to say anything about my book, or my disease but over the last few days I definitely felt I was being convicted to do so. And then the encouragement from our small group last night sealed the deal for me to talk about it 😉

I don’t know what God is up to but being chosen for this award and then having my book come out around the same time, we just know God is definitely working something here! And while I want to bring awareness to Fibrosing Mediastinitis, I also want my book to show how faithful our God is as we would not be where we are today without God’s hand in every aspect of our life! 

This July will be two years since my health drastically declined, yet the number of blessings it has led to, is amazing! 

So, if you want to laugh at us on video…I mean, if you want to watch us on video, it will be played on Monday and Tuesday August 17th and 18th at the Iowa State fair in the animal learning center. In the middle of Tim talking about our operation, he says “cut” and swipes his finger across his neck indicating for them to stop filming because he was fumbling so bad for words. Haha! Everyone got a kick out of it and Skyler is convinced that they will keep this part in the video. Definitely a lot of fun for the family, minus the awkward rambling! Oh, and Asher refused to smile at all!

We will also be aired on IPTV during the fair, as well as an article will be printed in the local newspapers, which he said a lot of towns do choose to run the article, meaning…all of us in our Fibrosing Mediastinitis shirts will be plastered across Iowa!!

Again, I do not want my disease to take away from how important this award is but the way it has all been playing out, we just felt this was an opportunity for us to also raise awareness to my disease, which is ultimately honoring God! We are so thankful and excited to see what God has in store for us!

Storms were to hit our area this morning, nothing too severe except for some heavy rain, lightning and strong winds. Swim lessons were canceled so I used the opportunity to continue working while Asher played and Leah slept in. 

Soon the skies got black and we were officially in a thunderstorm warning. Once the winds picked up I woke Leah up and took the little ones downstairs. Tim and Nathan were over in Sumner doing chores and Skye was at drivers Ed. I love storms but not when I’m alone and not when they do damage. The wind and rain were so strong that I could not see out the basement window. And the lightning was remarkable with streaks that looked to be in our yard shooting straight down to the ground.

Once it had calmed down I went to check things out, not really expecting anything, and minus some branches in the front yard, that was all I noticed, until I looked out the kitchen window…   

I immediately called Tim to fill him in on the big tree branch that was blocking our driveway, not to mention it was resting on the fence where our cows are. He would not be able to get home until about 10:30am. I prayed the fence would hold so that I would not have to figure out how to keep cows from running on to the highway!

Thankfully Tim and the kids got home, fence was fine and with all of us working together, we were able to get it cleaned up pretty fast!  

  

  

  

 

Asher did his best to help…

And then the real fun began when dad got out the chain to pull the rest of the branch down…  

  

   
  

Skyler being Skye…Job well done…until we noticed more trees on the other building and down back in the pastures…but those can wait another day!   

   

  

We are very thankful that the big tree branch did not fall on our house or that the damage was worse! 

Yesterday in church, one of the points that stuck out to me was…”when you protect the unity, you preserve the joy.” Doesn’t matter what happens, as long as we stick together.

So, while it was a minor inconvenience to our day, it was really cool to see the kids jump in and help out so much without complaining and turning the hard work in to fun! It was almost like God was reminding us that Tim and I need to keep charging forward together and in doing so, no matter what we are faced with, our kids today showed us that we are hopefully influencing them to do the same! I love how God works…well could’ve went without trees down but what a blessing it was to have our family pull together after such a rough start to the summer!

Thought I would check in since I am starting to get asked if the quiet on here is a good thing or a bad thing…it’s a busy thing! We started off with Dairy Days over in Fredericksburg last week. Kids went to the fireworks one night and then we were also able to catch the evening parade! Asher wasn’t too fond of the loud sirens so he basically just hid behind uncle John while stuffing his face full of candy. I was a little worried that he would be traumatized and hate parades for the rest of his life but he did eventually come out and enjoy it…after all of the fire trucks had passed!

 Thursday, Tim took Skyler and Nathan to the sale barn to buy some cows, including the kids picking out their own cow to raise. While the kids were full of excitement, Tim sarcastically informs me that they bought the cows based on “cuteness,” not his typical technique to building our cattle operation.😉 But, those cows sure did take off and have been doing amazing so the kids just might be on to something!   

  

 

Skyler had also come across a bird that was caught in the fence but after some time, and patience, she was able to set it free…which apparently was exciting enough to make her want to reconsider her career choice to becoming an animal rescuer! She was pretty proud of herself!

  The busy week ended with city wide garage sales…yes, I had a garage sale! It was a success but what a lot of work! I would not have survived if my sister Michelle wouldn’t have come to help out! It’s always fun getting together and visiting because with jobs and kids, it’s hard to make schedules work so we don’t see each other very often! Thank you so much Michelle…and what new stories we have to share…but I am glad it’s over!

So that was last week and this week started out even more busy! Leah is now doing gymnastics and then both Leah and Asher are taking swimming lessons for the next couple of weeks. And why did I sign Asher up when I have to be doing it with him?! I will admit we did show up at swimming lessons an hour early because of course I had the time wrong. Personally though, I have had some tough days in between…so, with my symptoms and all that’s going on, I am actually impressed that this has been my first and only screw up so far…and we were early so it doesn’t really even count!!  

   
It’s been busy with work and all the summer activities but thankfully after next week all this craziness should slow down…for a week or two anyway!

As far as my book is going, I am still waiting on the final edit over grammar, spelling, etc. then we move on to design and layout. If all goes well, it should be available to order online at the beginning of August. Yikes!!

And speaking of August, a lot of you have also been asking about our ceremony at the Iowa State Fair. It sounds like we will be presented with the award on Monday August 17th at 10:30am. Once it gets closer we will give more details as to where, but for now that is the date and time! 

I’m not sure what God is up to with this, but I will say, I am extremely proud of Tim for his hard work, determination and persistence. Plus, he’s getting the kids more involved and excited about cattle…well, the kids are more willing to feed their own cows but still grumble about chores at times 😉 Either way, Tim is teaching our kids what our parents taught us and what their parents taught them…God, family and hard work. 

Thank you all for the support, encouragement and especially to those of you who remind us that this is all part of God’s plan when we begin to have doubt or get discouraged. God is good and what an amazing journey He has us on!

Another busy and fun filled weekend spent with both of our families! Friday night we were able to see Leah perform the songs and dances and verses she had learned all week during vacation bible school at Horton Baptist. Grandpa or grandma Lalk drove her every night along with cousins Haley and Jace. I bet that was quite the car ride as all three kids sure were wound up when they got together! Leah came home every night explaining with excitement all she had learned and done! The program was great, followed by a picnic and some dodge ball. 

You know me and my crazy emotions so I did have to fight back a few tears as I watched Skyler and Nathan engaged in such a serious game of dodge ball! Skyler is 15 and Nathan is 11, at that age where we are starting to run in to some typical…and not so typical issues with them. It made me so extremely happy to see both of them laughing, playing and just having so much fun! 

Life is hard and again, it’s moments like these where you realize all the struggles and challenges that we are faced with everyday…are so worth it!! Thank you uncle John and aunt Brenda for doing an amazing job of planning such an awesome week for the kids, as well as for inviting Leah.  Thank you to Horton Baptist Church for making Leah so excited to learn about Jesus and thank you to all of the people from the church who have prayed for and welcomed us, and especially helped Sklyer and Nathan to feel comfortable enough to participate in the games…even if they did about lose their head at times 😉 I’m not kidding….those balls were flying! Oh, and Asher did his share of helping pick up at the end of the night…   

Saturday we then traveled to Dubuque for my nephew Gabe’s graduation party! Once again the kids were excited to road trip to go see everyone. My sister Michelle and brother in law Jeff again did an awesome job with the food and set up of the party.    It was fun to see all of the cousins get a chance to hang out and play some games…

 

And even uncle Ryan got to join in… 

I should say that Gabe is the youngest of four so he is the last to graduate from high school. I’m sure this was difficult on my sister but they have done an amazing job with raising their kids! I have to admit I didn’t get too emotional at the party ONLY because I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that my sister’s kids are all graduated…and I have two that haven’t even started school!!! Oh my…what have we done?! 😜

Our entire family was together, something that doesn’t happen too often but I love when we do get the opportunity to spend time with each other…and that means camera time! With the grandkids, well this is as good as it gets, especially when we make them stare into the sun for the picture…

   

And I wonder what Leah and Keira were scheming…

 
Then for our entire family…the following is when one of the guys taking the pictures called out Asher for being the only one that was not looking…but if you ask me it’s Gabe and Tyler that seem to have that problem 😉

 

And this was our ride home…a very long ride home… 

Sunday topped off the weekend with church and dinner at the Lalk’s where Tim’s parents along with us, his sister, his brother and all of their families get together for lunch. It also gives everyone the chance to catch up on each other’s week…all 19 of us…8 adults and 11 kids…and that’s not including his other sister and her family! Always great food and company!

I absolutely love our families and always enjoy being able to spend time with everyone! We are so blessed and really hope that our kids will be able to carry on the traditions of family get togethers, family love and family fun!

Now I need to go to bed so I have the energy to start a new day all over again tomorrow 😉

I’ll get the bad news out so we can focus on the fun day today. My eye appointment stunk yesterday, no getting around it.

On top of my FM kicking my butt, my diabetes has been more difficult for me to control lately, causing my A1c to be higher this last time. An A1c is a blood test that determines what my average blood sugars run over a three month period. 

I usually do pretty well with managing my sugars and can pinpoint exactly why my sugars might be high…or low, but for the last several months I’ve been strugglingl! Yes, sometimes it’s because I don’t check them as often, or because I underestimate how much insulin I should take when I eat, or even because I’ve had a lot of infections around my infusion site…but there have also been a lot of other times when my sugars are high and I have no explanation for it…indicating it could easily be due to the physical and mental stress from my FM as well as not feeling well. I do see my endocrinologist on a more frequent basis in order to gain better control of my sugars but I’m still running higher numbers.

With that being said, I apparently developed swelling and more leakage in my left eye over the last five months from my last checkup. I can’t remember what it’s called but it can lead to permanent vision loss, however, my vision is still 20/20 with my glasses so it has not been affected…yet. My doctor went on to say that I am “walking a fine line” so he’s not going to do any intervention right now but I have to follow up in two months to make sure my vision does not get too bad, too fast to the point where he wouldn’t be able to help prevent the vision loss. I simply replied “story of my life.” The look on his face reminded me that some people don’t understand my sarcasm 😉 He strongly encouraged me to call sooner if I do notice any vision problems before my follow up.

Of course the vision loss can be prevented…but with me, there’s always a catch…things simply can’t be that easy. The doctor went on to say that my goal needs to be getting my A1c down (that’s always my goal and it really wasn’t terribly high), and he also tried to explain the hypertension which is also contributing to my eye issues, but instead says, “well, in your situation you can’t do much about that.” Yep, that’s the type of news that is considered encouragement for me. 

He did say that if in two months my vision has gotten worse, even slightly, that he will most likely begin “aggressive” treatment…medications and an injection to my eye once a month until determined. My heart sank because those injections are what made the eye surgeries I’ve had in the past, absolutely dreadful and miserable! Whatever he said next was kind of a blur, no pun intended, as I focused on trying to keep it together throughout the remainder of the appointment. 

I got to my car with that all too familiar feeling of being knocked back down again and was quite discouraged on the drive home. I was bitter and grumpy and angry. I’ve always done pretty well with my diabetes minus periods here and there so it’s really hard for me to not think that the hypertension and my FM is the main factor, but yes, my diabetes has been out of control so that contributes too. I just didn’t think damage from diabetes could come on that fast. Either way, here we go again!

The drive back to work was a little tricky from my eyes being dilated and from the tears flowing! Thankfully Tim had his aviators on the dash so I was able to drive home without too much pain…as well as with some serious style. 

 

Tim definitely would not have enjoyed the ride back home if he would have taken me, although when I called him crying, I knew he wished he was right there with me in that lousy moment. 

I have decided if it comes down to any type of intervention, I will get a second opinion. I do not want injections!! There is a particular name for the type of eye problems that results from FM, which I can’t remember of course…but with diabetes, that also causes damage. I just want to make sure we are treating the right problem the correct way, and while I absolutely trust my eye doctor, I’ve learned a second opinion is never a bad thing.

So that was my Monday, a day where I went to work, did what I had to do then came home and kept to myself. Even mom doesn’t call me on the day of my appointments bc she knows if I get discouraging news, I won’t feel like talking. But, she also knows by the next day I am usually good and able to bounce right back. I did a lot of praying and tried not to think about two months from now with all the “what ifs.” 

Today was a much better day as God shined through for us and once again at the most appropriate time! Tim was able to sell a group of cows, something he had been struggling with. God’s time is always perfect but, apparently taking Leah to the sale barn, is like taking her to Walmart, she can talk daddy in to anything! Meet Cinderella…   

 

And I love my hubby dearly but I think he needs an intervention…😬  

I must say though, the best part of the night….Ariel is back!

Along with Elsa and Anna…   

Coincidence that we release three and here sits three? I think not! 

God sure knew I needed the laugh, and boy did I crack up when I walked into the barn and saw that!! 

A great day to remind me that no matter how bad one day is, there’s always tomorrow. And yes Michelle, the sun will come out tomorrow! ☀️😉

After the start to a busy weekend my parents offered to keep the kids overnight to provide Tim and me the opportunity for date night….something long overdue! Kids waited patiently all morning to go to grandpa Steve and grandma Vicky’s…as did I! Thank you mom and dad!!!

 
Saturday night Tim and I were then able to go out to dinner.  We went to a local restaurant called The Waterstreet Grill and it was excellent! Not just the food and the service but we were able to eat a meal while it was still hot and actually visit without any kids interrupting…but now what?! It’s barely 8pm and we have no kids! We had gone to the local museum earlier, cruised around town for a little bit and then decided just to go back home and watch a movie. Not exciting to some and probably sounds boring to others but we absolutely loved it. No kids to battle at bedtime and no screaming kids to wake us up…it was the perfect date night! We were able to enjoy each other and relax in our home…but, I will admit I missed the kids…a lot! 

While it’s nice to have our alone time, our lives just don’t seem quite right without chaos! And when I was sitting in the quiet room…and it was actually quiet, it dawned on me that so many of us that are fighting personal battles with health right now, while we talk about the craziness of being with our kids…it’s that craziness that keeps us fighting so hard! It’s that craziness that makes the battle worth the effort. Even this kind of craziness when your two year old decides to paint his own finger and toenails…

 After getting the kids back this morning, we couldn’t resist spending the day outside due to the beautiful weather, and having a picnic is one of Leah’s favorite things to do…I love seeing the simple pleasures through a child’s eyes!

  
  

But it wasn’t until after lunch that the fun really began. While Skyler and her friend were exploring the other day, they had come across FIVE, yes five baby coons. Could this be what’s destroying our garden?! They caught one and were able to set him free back along our property line. Last night we caught a second baby raccoon so had planned to do the same thing later in the day. 

As I’m cleaning up from lunch, Tim tells me to come back outside and there by the cage with the baby coon is another one trying to get to him.   

       
The kids kind of observed them for awhile and then it was time to put him in the cage with the other one. We drove back again to the edge of our property and released them. This was difficult for Leah although she managed to tell them through a cracked little voice “go find the rest of your family now.” I have to admit…I think the kids could have talked me in to keeping them for a pet…until they hissed at Tim! Haha 

   
We have now caught three and only two to go. Thank goodness and maybe our garden will survive this year after all! Until about 15 minutes later Tim sends me a picture of what he had discovered across the field and heading right back to our place so, in other words…meet Elsa and Anna! I laugh everytime I think about seeing those little coons tootling back towards our house 😳

Thankfully Leah was picked up by Grandma Lalk for vacation bible school tonight so Tim had a chance to take “Elsa” and “Anna” a couple miles down the road to try one more time to get rid of them. I’m surprised he has put this much effort into releasing them but it’s amazing how much kids can change your heart 😉

So that’s our fun filled weekend, nothing much yet I’m exhausted! Tomorrow is my eye appointment, the only appointment I have for the month of June so I am looking forward to getting it over and done with. However, this is one appointment that I will be accompanying myself to because Tim says I get too crabby at these…and he’s right! I’m better off going myself! This disease makes me so mad sometimes by how much it can affect. I have had damage done to my eyes due to the lack of oxygen to my upper body caused by my FM. This has resulted in two surgeries on my left eye and one surgery on my right eye.

Tomorrow is a follow-up to make sure my eyes are still doing okay so please pray all will be fine and no more surgeries will be needed! I think the worst part about these appointments is that I’ve already had the surgery so I know what’s coming if intervention would be needed…I know what to expect…and it’s not pleasant!

After tomorrow I have the month to enjoy the swimming lessons and the drivers ed stories and the gymnastics classes all without having to worry about doctor appointments getting in the way…and maybe tomorrow…even Elsa and Anna will be back 😉

Started the day off like any other day…prayer, a little bit of work, waking kids…and the hubby up, preparing breakfast, getting kids on the bus and the hubby out the door. Finally I am able to start working again but my phone rings, immediately bringing me to tears.

The lady on the other end of the phone explains that we had been nominated (by Dave and Angie) and we were selected as one of six families in Iowa to receive “The Way We Live” award in which we will receive at the Iowa State Fair!!!! How awesome is that?! We will get some really cool perks, but I am truly most excited about the plaque we will receive!! I am just so extremely proud of my husband for all of his hard work and dedication to not only his job but to his family!! He has worked so hard to get our cattle business up and running and while we still struggle at times, God always provides exactly what we need when we need it! We are so honored that Dave and Angie thought of us and actually took the time to nominate us! The following lists the qualities wanted…
As if that wasn’t enough…change the subject and let me ask, how are you liking my blog? Do you like what you are reading, what I post about? I know some of it’s difficult to read in regard to my health. But, don’t you get a kick out of our crazy life? We always have new experiences to share and unusual stories to tell! Well how about one more big doozie….here it goes…are you ready?! 

Shortly after the wonderful news about the award we will be receiving…I got an email confirming something I have been praying for over a really really long period of time. 

It’s finally official…I wrote a book AND I was blessed to have my book accepted by Westbow, who works closely with Zondervan, a huge Christian publishing agency! Thanks to the support and encouragement from Tim, my book is officially in the works of being published and should be available hopefully sometime by August!

Ahhhhh!! There, the secret is out! Only a few of my family members, along with some friends were aware that I had been working on this for over the last year and a half! Now you have the opportunity to read from the beginning, where this whole journey started!

I had started a journal when first diagnosed, and actually kept up on it throughout most of the years. It was back in 2013 when my disease began to attack full force, that I added to that journal…more ups but even more downs. I was broken, thinking how miserable life was…but I kept writing, which helped me to regain focus on how my life had really turned out….not miserable, but absolutely amazing by God’s grace.

Between July 2013 and December 2013, I truly believed I would be dead at any time….I felt that awful, that scared…and that hopeless. So, I took all my writings and put them in to book format. My intention was simply for my kids to have this to remember me by. Morbid, kind of but, the more I wrote and read through my past, the more I was able to see how God had been with me through this whole horrific journey. It was then after Tim read it that we decided I needed to share my story to not only bring awareness to this silent killing disease, but to also show how loving and faithful our God is.

Because of my struggles I now have more faith, more trust and more comfort knowing God is always with me. And when you have that sense of peace and calmness, it really does helps lessen the burdens.

This is way out of my comfort zone, something God has been tugging at my heart to do, as far as stepping out and exposing myself through writing! But, I am now ready to share my story because I do truly believe I am a walking miracle, something I have been referred to on several occasions.

When first diagnosed I was naive and really figured damage this disease could do, was done. But this disease has a mind of its own….and that is why I feel this is what I must do for my next step to honor God, something He has called me to do. Especially when Dave and Angie, a couple in our small group, and the stinkers who nominated us for that awesome award, had the ability to do our cover for my book! Another example of God putting the right people in the right places all for a part of His greater plan.

So, for those of you who know me and Tim as a happy couple with a great marriage and great family….a great life, you now have the chance to read the details of not only the good times but also some of the obstacles we have encountered as newlyweds, and how soon we would be tested with the vows we had promised each other in front of God…specifically to love each other through sickness and health and for richer or for poorer. It hasn’t been easy but we are giving it all we’ve got!

I have finally discovered that life truly is what you make of it. Sometimes, some of our situations aren’t by choice but it’s up to us to be responsible with how God wants us to handle them. 

So there you have it…the quiet girl who always keeps to herself, the one who has been called name after name because people misunderstand my extreme shyness, here I am completely vulnerable, exposing my deepest thoughts, fears, feelings, hope, our life for anyone and everyone who wants to read!

Again, I am doing all of this to bring awareness to my disease and Fibrosing Mediastinitis is starting to be heard of so please feel free to invite others to like my actual Facebook page Faith, Family, Cows, Fibrosing Mediastinitis #Mylife. 😉 

I am so grateful for an awesome God, He has never and will never abandon us!

And thank you again so much to Dave and Angie for all your kindness!!

So, remember how I had just said Tim had made the suggestion that he do everything outside and I take care of everything inside?! Well, as I am MOWING tonight, I can’t help but snap a picture of him in action outside…while I’m MOWING… 

   

Yet this is what I dealt with inside at nap time… 

 At supper time…   

 At bath time…  

At bedtime…  

And how the night ended when I found this on our bed from our oldest kid… 

  
So yeah, I guess that about equals out 😉 It was a good day and hope everyone was able to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather! And yep, that’s all I’ve got for tonight!! 😉 

Tonight we celebrated our little girl graduating from preschool. It was a really big deal! Leah and her class put on a program where Leah really belted out the words….along with some sweet dance moves! Followed by the award ceremony and potluck.  I am proud to say that Leah got the Gummy Bear award for being a “caring and huggable classmate”…she must get that from her mommy 🙂

     Leah was so proud to sing and dance for us and since last Friday, she has been verifying with us that we would be there to watch her…that we wouldn’t be working, that we wouldn’t miss it! Something so little, yet so big to a five year old.

I think these are the little moments that God uses to remind us where our priorities need to be….showing what really matters.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks around here, but again this is what we need to just learn how to deal with. I’ve had a lot of good days, but some bad days as well with the extreme fatigue, heart palpitations and overall “weird” feeling, too difficult to explain. Tim and I are getting short with each other from the stress of me not feeling well along with the every day craziness of life…with kids…with cows. 

Go figure that over the last few weeks in church, we’ve been discussing not only ways to make a marriage work and to stay true to our vows, but also about priorities as well as discussing in our small group, what kind of legacy we want to leave behind. The sermons and discussions came at a time where one day I walked in and Asher was sitting there with my headphones on pretending to type as that is what I do for my job. I laughed at his cuteness but then stopped. I thought between Leah saying how much we work and now Asher, “is this the kind of impression I want to leave on my kids? Is this the legacy I want to leave, my kids thinking all I do is work…or I’m always sick?” Not really. I work part time at home typing so it’s difficult for the kids to understand at times. And don’t get me wrong, I want them to know what hard work is…but I never want to imply it’s more important than family…because it’s not! 

So tonight at graduation, the sermon from Pastor Chip regarding priorities came to mind. Although I have started devoting 10 minutes of prayer and reading first thing in the morning to God, this does not always happen as Asher might get up earlier than planned or I might “accidentally” oversleep. Tim is definitely not number two on my list as I always put the kids before him. But then where does this leave my kids? I have been focusing on my job…which means I am putting everything after that including the kids along with trying to do the housework, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the baths, the homework which everyday…this is a losing battle. 

I have been thinking a lot about my priorities and what I need to change. And it’s not necessarily the fact that I’m putting my job before God or my family, it’s the fact I’m trying to do everything at once…and instead of giving my all to one thing at a time…I’m doing the bare minimum with everything, and everybody, simply to get by. 

I am trying to organize my time better. I am getting my ten minutes of devotion in with God at some point within the day, at least I am doing it, but it really does help set the tone for the whole day if I do it right away in the morning so I am working harder to do that. And, while I’m at work, work is my priority and when I’m with my kids, they are my priority.

With Tim…well ouch! I’m trying to replay the last three weeks of sermons in my head, trying to fight fair, not keep track of wrongs, not expect more than I give etc. I have to admit I haven’t done this well. After a full day of work every day, I’m tired! I need to rest! While Tim truly does try, he doesn’t quite understand the fatigue and headaches I struggle with…again, this is not the normal crazy, busy life head pain or fatigue. 

One day out of the blue, he says I’m in charge of the inside of the house and he’ll take care of the outside of the house. I sarcastically asked about the kids and he had no response. So for those of you who know me, what do I do? Yep, as soon as he goes outside I put shoes on the kids, send them outside and say since they are outside…they are his responsibility! I do realize now, this would probably be on the “never do this during a fight” list but personally…I thought it was genius…and it worked because I got a nap in 😉

Tim did approach me after a few rough days between us and said he was thinking…the last few weeks have been extremely difficult on us. We just can’t seem to catch a break with anything. Tim pointed out that what if God has something really great planned for us in the near future and the enemy is trying to stop it. It was after that statement that I realized Tim and I would be okay. Tim and I have our moments but we have always been able to pull together, turn back to rely on God and fight through whatever we are faced with…together! 

We were able to redirect our thinking and regain focus on some of the things Pastor Chip had said as well as some discussions we had during our small group.  

So needless to say if you stop over, which we always enjoy having company over expected or not, just be prepared that I will not have a spotless house, my kids might be in their pajamas by 5pm, but hopefully that indicates that I am working on my priorities and getting things in the order that they need to be. Tim needs to remember this too when the laundry’s not done!

So yes, all this reflection from a preschool graduation! I am getting emotional in my old age! I will admit I wanted to cry tonight when they handed the award to her but I refrained from doing so. The smallest thing made Leah extremely excited and happy tonight. I want my kids to be happy, to know how much I love God, I love my husband and how much I love them. I want my kids to know work or cleaning does not come before them, I want them to know that no matter what, I have time for them, undivided attention and quality time. I love them unconditionally and would do anything for them…but a dinner date with their dad is still a necessity 😉 This is part of the legacy I plan to work on leaving behind. 

Well I haven’t blogged in a while so thought I’d do a quick update. As far as things medical, I am feeling the same. I am happy to say however, that I am really pushing the water and have probably only had one small pop in the last 10 days…and for those of you who know me, this is a huge accomplishment! Unfortunately I haven’t felt much different and I still continue to have my heart palpitations every day so I can at least rule out caffeine as a cause. Well, I already knew this but now I proved it to Tim! Ha!

I also rescheduled some appointments so that I will have all of June off from Iowa City. I will only have my eye appointment and then I’m done with doctors until July when I go back to my pulmonologist for the routine breathing tests and lung scans. To be honest, I’m tired of going and getting no answers so I think a break will do me good to regroup and regain focus on how good God really is. Like the doc said, I’ll just feel absolutely miserable…but I won’t drop dead! Oops, bitterness popped out there…this is why I really need the break from appointments 😉

Plus, June is going to be a crazy month with swimming lessons and drivers ed and work so I figured focus on the kids and my job as well for the month until things slow down a little bit in July. 

As far as Tim, he’s still plugging away at his job. Today was a day where I was “lucky” to help him at the farm after putting in a long day for my job. Before leaving however, I decided to mow quick…and within 5 minutes after Asher and I got on the mower, I discovered that Leah had changed! Why does “flower power” come to my mind everytime I look at this girl? 🌼🌸🌻

 

Once I finished mowing, we loaded the kids up and headed to the farm. They loved playing and messing around.

  

Nathan helped Tim with chores…    

As did Leah…we’ll sort of. She brought her barbies and a few toys to play with Elsa….the cow🐮  

 

And then I was up to help with two jobs that I will spare sharing. I stalled by giving Asher the run down on our business and took some selfies of course…and yes, Asher looks as thrilled as I do😊   

And Tim decided to do outside chores while I continued to stall…and take pictures.  

  🐄🐄Yep, looks like a tough job! Just kidding!!! I am amazed at the work my husband does to make sure he keeps the cows as healthy and clean as possible! 🐄🐄

 Ok so I can’t stall any longer and finally start to help Tim but remember…I’m allergic to cows so half way through job one I begin itching, once done with job one I begin sneezing, but hey, I’m half way through!! Job two I’m starting to sniffle even more and the itching is starting to make me cringe on top of the watery eyes. By the time we’re done I’ve developed a slight rash going up my right arm but nothing like I used to get…and as I write this now, I am feeling a lot better! The misery was short lasted and I was able to help my husband out so all is good! 

So that’s all I’ve got tonight. My health is the same but I’m pushing through. I’m able to take breaks as needed in order to fight the exhaustion but for heart palpitations, head pain and memory, I really don’t know what to do about that so I’m simply dealing with it. 

I’m so grateful for Tim because not only has he been busting butt at work, he’s helping out around here and even kept all the kids a couple of nights while I was able to go to a drivers Ed meeting with Skyler as well as her band concert. Unfortunately one night I could not have the kids, he was stuck with them at Nathan’s orchestra concert. I think we all know this isn’t the best setting for a two year old and then top that off with Leah! 

I was actually at the drivers Ed meeting with his sister Brenda and I knew it was going to be a rough night for Tim when he texts me at 6:34pm “I’ve had it with these kids already”…and the concert wasn’t to start until 7pm! Tim doesn’t know this but…I couldn’t resist showing Brenda his text and we just giggled!! Nathan also had to get signed up for football that night so the kids had already been a challenge! Apparently though, the night was horrible for him so I have a lot of making up to do! I’m so sorry babe!!

So again that’s it, nothing too exciting…well okay, something exciting has been developing and I hope to share the news soon so stay tuned in….and again NOOOO, I am not pregnant!!