Tuesday I go to the doctor to discuss my options for pain management, which will most likely be epidural injections! This back pain has prevented me from seeing my kids play volleyball and football because the games are so far away I can’t tolerate the long car ride. I struggle with walking, sitting, driving and just about every aspect of my daily routine. I even had to get up and walk out of church to relieve some of the pain in my back from sitting, but then by the time I got downstairs, I had to sit again from the extreme leg pain of walking!

I am to the point where I might not leave the doctor Tuesday until I get that injection! I have gotten messages from people who had an injection due to back problems, and by the time they left their appointment, they felt so much better. Instant relief!! I can’t imagine what that would be like but I am hoping to experience it on Tuesday! 

Saturday, my family and I were able to go down to our local park and hear some Christian speakers as well as see Jason Gray perform. I also got to meet Kendra Smiley, who does The Next Right Choice on 101.9! As I was talking to her I said “sometimes I don’t want to listen to you” and she kind of gave the worker next to her a look then laughed and said just like her kids. Right as those words came out of my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said that because really, she doesn’t know me…or my sense of humor! Geez, I’m lucky she didn’t yell for security! Thankfully I was able to follow with letting her know that her words have always come to me and inspired me at the most appropriate times! Whewww! 

So while I was constantly getting up to walk around, then sitting back down to rest, then back up, then back down, I listened to one of the gals say “all of the pain you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the glory ahead.” I felt instant relief knowig that while my pain has seemed to be never ending…someday it will all be gone and well worth it…. just maybe not too soon though 😉

The weather was beautiful, the kids wore themselves out playing and Tim and I got the chance to listen to some encouraging words and some great music. 

Kendra Smiley   
    

Jason Gray   

Enjoy the week everyone and always find something in every day to smile about ☺️

So, for those of you who know Tim, you know that his birthday is a VERY big deal. September is HIS month and his month alone! Yet, his sister has a birthday in September?? Why didn’t his parents plan this better so that Tim did not have to share his birthday MONTH?! And his own brother sucked some joy out of Tim’s month as well by getting married…ONE day before Tim’s birthday!! The nerve!! Ha ha! Happy anniversary to Aaron and Dawn by the way…and you all know I’m just messing 😂

I learned early on just how important Tim’s special day meant to him when he joked that he celebrates his birthday for the whole month. I also discovered ( the hard way) that when Tim says he doesn’t want anything for his birthday…that is simply not true!

So of course he was joking about having a “birthday month” but I decided to call his bluff one of the first few years after we were married. I bought 30 gifts and on September 1st I began leaving them out in different places. The first day he didn’t think much of it as I had been known to leave him notes here and there with a little something.  I had left him a candy bar and he went along with his day, although he did question why it was wrapped! However, after the third day of finding gifts out in the cow barn or out in his truck, he finally caught on and was pretty excited! He assumed the gifts would stop after his birthday but nope, every day he continued to find presents throughout the remainder of his birthday month.

That was the year he banned me from buying anymore dewalt tools 😉 but really, do you know how hard it is to actually come up with 30 gifts?! It’s not as easy as it sounds and some gifts were big, some small but the best part…he received so many things that when I got in a bind the following years for  Christmas or his birthday, I was able to go out to his shop, find something he had yet to open and yep, I gave it to him again! And he didn’t even notice except for the fact I told him only because I felt bad!

I was worried how I would pull today off because my health has been so bad along with this back pain over the last month that prevented me from getting any shopping done, let alone barely functioning through the days.  I was able to get Tim some simple presents, nothing exciting, but the kids and I were also able to do a little decorating….which Asher picked out 😉

Tim and I had just  been talking about what a rough week, rough month, rough year it has been between my health and the ups and downs with his job. It was so bad we even joked that the recent snakes around our house (which are one of Tim’s biggest phobias, and I just hate anything that you can’t kill by stepping on) were signs that the enemy was coming at us full force! My limitations and insecurities as a sick wife and the uncertainty of Tim’s job always seem to crumble down on us at the same time, and lately, it’s been all the time. But we keep praying and moving ahead!

So, with all the joking about my husband being so wrapped up in himself…no pun intended…get it?! Haha, anyway, he has proved over and over that he puts his family before himself! He will do whatever he needs to do to protect us and provide for us…and that is why I like to try and make his birthdays special.

We were able to make the most of his birthday by opening presents and doing cake and ice cream with the kids.

Why we need to get away once in awhile!

I was also able to surprise Tim with dinner reservations at a local restaurant in town while Skye babysat but I must say I never ate so fast! My position times are extremely limited to how long I can sit and how long I can stand due to my back and leg pain. So while I’m almost done with my meal, Tim is barely getting started! It was a nice night though!

 It’s the times like this that I know we will be okay. While I didn’t have 30 gifts for Tim (which by the way I will never do again), we still found time to celebrate with the kids, but we also took time for ourselves. I am so thankful to have him in my life and while we are far from perfect and have a lot of things to improve on, we continue to push forward in this life together! We had a great night and I am glad to be celebrating another year with my husband.

Happy 36th birthday babe…you’re an amazing father and I guess an okay husband! 😍 Thanks for walking beside me through the good times and the bad, and especially sticking by me when it comes to my lousy health😉

Watch out ladies…actually just  run…and take your children with you!!! 

The toe tragedy that changed Tim forever 😉 

This picture has always cracked me up!         

Yes…Asher is licking his reflection…     

God brought our broken paths together and blessed us more than we ever could have imagined! Happy birthday babe! Love you always and forever…but not in a scary stalking way 😘

The MRI showed that at one point in time I had a rupture in my lower back and now I have a tear in the same spot. He said while that can be extremely painful, it is nothing to be concerned about. I am assuming the rupture could have been from when I broke my tailbone a couple years back?! 😁

The reason for me getting in to the neurosurgeon so fast, however, is due to the fact that I have a herniated disc. He went on to explain that my MRI results were “quite scary” to look at due to the herniated disc being so extremely large. He also said that it showed to be affecting some of my nerves as well.

After a physical exam and me praying not to say something I might regret to him because he was moving my legs around and triggering every stinking sore spot possilbe in my back and legs…he felt I still had enough strength to not jump straight to surgery. This is definitely what I wanted to hear!

We discussed options and it was decided that I would try epidural injections, something I’m not thrilled about, but it beats surgery. But, he of course couldn’t stop there. He continued to say that due to the size of my herniated disc, it was very improtant for me to call him if my symptoms worsen or if I had any bathroom accidents! Uh, what?! He stressed the importance of getting in immediately as if I began to experience any of the symptoms he listed, it would be a medical emergency and I would need to have surgery within 24-48 hours from the onset of symptoms. 

This was a red flag to Tim and as we were waiting to schedule my injection, Tim suggested I get a second opinion. I questioned him as to why, even though I knew his answer. To make the situation even worse, I will be waiting probably another week before I get in to see the other doctor who will then set up for me to get the injections! I was left with the doctor telling me to do what I have been doing for pain management…even though I had told him nothing is helping me! 

So, now I am in the position where Tim wants me to get another opinion, not because he wants me to have surgery, but he doesn’t want me to get to the point where it becomes an emergency or where I could have permanent damage, while personally, I would rather try injections first over surgery. I have not heard any good turnouts from anyone who has had back surgery. On the other hand, I already have some minor symptoms that the doctor had pointed out could be leading me to have surgery. 

I think my plan is to call tomorrow and see if I can get in sooner to the next doctor in order to get my injection as soon as possible. If they can’t then I might call my doctor to get a referral for another opinion and express how miserable I am. Like Tim said, I have a high tolerance for pain and I’m not the best at describing just how bad it is, so if the doctor is waiting to do the surgery based on me telling him how I feel, I’ll be dead. Haha. 

I have been a lot better at describing my symptoms but after 13 years of doctors not listening in regard to my other health issues, it’s very easy to tell myself “what’s the point” But, I have also learned that nothing will get done if I don’t advocate for myself and push for answers and push for doctors to help me. I am getting better at not just replying with,  “I’m fine.”

So that’s where things are. I was extremely discouraged and frustrated most of the afternoon. They make a big rush for me to get in because obviously my MRI is horrible and it freaked the doctors out, yet now I wait another week just to see the next doctor who then has to set up the injections. 

As I was driving Nathan to football practice, we hit traffic which literally took us 20 minutes to cross town, usually it’s about 5 minutes. My back was killing and I was hot because of no air 😉 and I kept thinking about my situation. In the midst of this Leah chimes in and tells me to look at the beautiful clouds. In an instance I was able to see the world through the eyes of a five year old. She didn’t notice the heat, or the fact we were sitting in traffic, she wasn’t frustrated with how long it was taking to get through town. She was appreciating the drive, soaking in the beauty around her. So, I took the opportunity to do the same by discussing with the kids, images we saw throughout the pretty clouds floating in the sky. The night got that much better…and I thanked God for using Leah to help bring me back to what really matters!

I am so blessed to end the night with hope…and Asher melts my heart…almost as much as his daddy does 😉   

As I was talking to the referral nurse the other day in regard to me seeing a neuro surgeon, she goes on to tell me that if they schedule an appointment for me six weeks out then I will know that it is not too serious, however, if they want to see me immediately then I will know something is up. Well, she called me today and I have an appointment to see the neuro surgeon on Tuesday so…something must be up! But, I already know this from the pain I am experiencing!

My concern is, how did this happen? How did I get tears and protusions and extrusions in my back? I didn’t fall recently, no accidents or any trauma to my back? And right before I’m scheduled to do a 5k!! Right when I’m trying to get back in to walking and right when I’m trying to be as healthy as I can!! My body has been so weak these last several months and I seem so sensitive to anything and everything though so who knows! Thankfully Tim is already preparing to come with me to this appointment.

So, while this news was discouraging, today was also the day that our article came out in the local newspaper, although there were a few errors! Haha! First off, parking was not the most impressive thing to me about the fair…that was Tim 😉 We were both just so taken back by all of the people we didn’t even know that had seen our photos on the wall and had stopped us to congratulate us. All of the fair board members included, even came to shake our hands! The generosity and sincerity of people and the fair board was amazing!

On another note, the pet cow in the picture is not named “cowie” but she is named “mine” although Leah did explain to the reporter that she has another pet cow named “Kali” as well so just a miscommunication thing. Asher and Leah once again stole the show with their smiles on the hay bales and with the cow…which we were very surprised Asher hugged the cow given the fact that he typically just screams if any type of animal gets too close!

We are supposed to touch base with the reporter again when my book comes out so maybe I will have another article to share soon…if I actually have the guts to call him when it comes out! 😊

Hope everyone has a great Friday and is able to enjoy the long holiday weekend!

Click on my name below for the link…

Becky

Well, I bragged about no appointments for a couple of weeks and what happens? Stupid back problems!

I’ve had issues with my back going out in the past when I have picked up the kids or bent over the wrong way, but almost three weeks ago when that lower back ache came, I wondered what I had done. I waited patiently for it to subside but instead it got worse. So last week after I got the kids off to their first day of school, I called the doctor. The pain had been going on for over a week and was not letting up.

It was decided that an MRI of my back needed to be done after a physical exam showed that my lumbar spine had “disappeared.” Unfortunately the scheduler was about a week behind but I was hopeful my back would get better in the meantime. I was prescribed the fun prednisone and aleve. Remember though, prednisone makes my sugars goofy but I was able to monitor them to make sure they didn’t get terribly high and I also got that nice wired feeling…too bad my back only got worse.

Friday I attempted to go in to work but the office chair about killed me! Within 20 minutes, I knew I would have to go home to finish out my hours as my dining room chair had been allowing me to work more comfortable from home. I also called my doctor to let him know I was slowly getting worse. I was able to get some prescription medication for the pain, however, that did not help either.

By the end of the weekend I was walking funny, sometimes almost collapsing from the weak sensation running through my legs but I couldn’t sit too long either or the pain once again became unbearable. Church was rough to get through but the car ride home was worse. Every bump made the drive that much more miserable and pressing on the gas left me praying for God just to get me home so that I could stretch out and relieve some of this pain.

Monday I finally called the person in charge of scheduling and she was extremely helpful but of course insurance had been the hold up. She called me back a little after 5pm and said the MRI had been authorized and after she called Covenant hospital, they agreed to get me in immediately.

So I rushed, well, as fast as my broken body would allow, and I loaded up the little ones along with Nathan then dropped him off at football. Tim was at chores so I called my parents and thankfully they were able to meet me at the hospital and watch the kids while I did my testing. Once again, my parents’ night interrupted by their problem middle child! I’m so glad they love me 😗

Frustation easily took over today when I had a missed call from the referral nurse informing me that my doctor had referred me to a neuro surgeon due to having a protrusion…I guess the MRI results are in!

Apparently I have a couple of bad spots on my spine but how did this happen?? I have a disc extrusion, or something, in one area of my lower back and then in another area of my lower back I have a broad base disc tear so I will be meeting with a neuro surgeon to see what our next steps are. At this point I have not researched to see what this means and I did not ask many questions. All I can do is pray and give this to God because I’m pretty fed up with my health. I guess on the positive side, we may have discovered what has been causing my mysterious leg pain as well!

And while every day I have been pretty miserable with this back pain and my heart palpitations that continue to be a bother, every day I also receive amazing blessings such as a simple smile from our children, to help push away the negative thoughts that try to creep in to my mind. I don’t like being the one that has something wrong with me ALL THE TIME! I don’t like that every single part of my body is messed up and I don’t like wondering what if one of these times I don’t bounce back? I hate it but thankfully we have an amazing God who has the strength that I lack and continues to carry me through these discouraging days.

I am thankful that God shows His love for me every day through Leah when she comes running to me with her arms extended as she gets off the bus and every night ends with goodnight hugs from all of the kids. I am thankful for the entertaining and sweet conversations the kids and I have and being able to listen to Leah explain to me how she “loves sleep now” because she’s tired from being gone all day long ☺️ She is really loving school while Nathan said he’s ready for summer to be here again!

So at least with the MRI of my leg, my brain and now my back as well as a ct scan of my chest all done within the last six months…I should be good to go on testing for awhile! Oh, and the sleep results should be in sometime soon too 🙂

And dang it dad!!!! Just as I was finishing up this blog he sent me a text about the song he heard on the radio today that made him think of me…and yes, I needed to hear this song and God’s timing was perfect once again with my dad reaching out to me in this moment. Love you dad and I am doing the 5k in September if I have to crawl! Haha!

I must admit, while it was nice having a quiet and full day of work, it was pretty sweet watching daddy with his new sidekick now that Leah is in school! Asher really stepped up and was ready to “help” in any way that he could!   

Tim filling up the ranger with branches…   

And Asher throwing them back out 😍 

Then 3:30pm came and the crazy starts up again. Tim and I have always tried to make it to every event the kids are in but now we are to the point where Nathan’s football and Skyler’s volleyball are overlapping. Tonight was Skyler’s invitational in Cedar Falls, my old stomping ground, so of course I didn’t want to miss this! She did awesome as did all of the girls and I was extremely proud of her! She made just about every hit that came her way!!!   

Way to call it out!! 

I brought Asher and he did awesome the first three games…but Skyler played nine!!! Thankfully grandpa Steve and grandma Vicky were there to help entertain him and boy was he full of love tonight!   

The popcorn and twizzlers held him over for a little while!   

Nathan just had football practice tonight so I didn’t miss a game! 

But unfortunately Tim will miss the majority of Skye’s games because he will need to get Nathan to and from practice during the week days but she knows he is cheering her on if he is there or not! I guess this is all part of having kids in different sports and I am extremely proud of Skye and Nathan for sticking it out and being a part of the team! 

Plus Skye will have Saturday tournaments and Nathan will have Sunday games so at least on the weekend we should all be able to pull together and show our support to both of them! This crazy schedule doesn’t even include Leah’s dance, Skyler’s color guard and all of the extras both Skye and Nathan will do at varsity games!!

That reminds me…any good recommendations on a babysitter?! 😉

It finally came and went…Leah’s first day of kindergarten!! I can’t even type that without getting teary eyed! It doesn’t seem real that our little princess is officially in school! But it started with hesitation…

The night before, Leah began crying and saying she didn’t want to go to school. Rocking her, rubbing her hair and trying to comfort her, flashed me back to a time when colic had set in…and I don’t know why but I saw myself with her only a few months old, rocking her in our green recliner at our old house, doing whatever I could to comfort her…and now here I was doing the same thing as she’s getting ready for school! Where did those years go?! I will admit, I wanted to tell her she didn’t have to go to school and could stay with mommy and daddy…but I didn’t 😉

Tim and I continued to try and comfort her and she eventually was able to fall asleep.

Thankfully this morning when I woke her up with excitement about it being her first day of school, she jumped right up, got dressed and was ready to go. I always make the kids a special breakfast for their first day but Leah seemed too anxious to eat.   

Leah had also changed her mind about me taking her to school and now wanted to ride the bus. She also refused to let me do her hair and put anything in her backpack as she could do it all by herself! What?! Is she going in to Highschool?! 

It was then time to wait for the bus. As they were walking, Leah reached for Nathan’s had and he looked back at us then took her hand in his. We reminded him that he is her older brother and we need to watch out for each other…he gave us the fist pump with a thumb’s up indicating he’s got it!   

Asher was just as sad to see them go…    

 

But no worries, I’m one of those moms…and we followed the bus!! And then Skyler sends us a text saying she saw Leah on the bus and she looked nervous so Skyler got on the bus to encourage Leah that she would have a good day. And then came the next text picture…Skyler is beautiful…and I really should have done Leah’s hair 😊

 
Skyler did call after school, however, to say that Leah started crying when she saw her but thankfully she was fine by the time she got home. Leah came running up to greet us with hugs and right away said she started crying when she saw Skyler because she missed us😭 Both Leah and Nathan then filled us in on the highlights of their day!

So, we are very thankful that the kids all had a great first day at school overall. Leah is ready to go back tomorrow, although Nathan and Skyler, probably not so much 😉

And I am extremely proud of Nathan and Skyler for stepping up and doing whatever necessary in order to willingly help their baby sister get through such an important, yet scary start to a whole new world!! 

God is good!

I was able to go in for my sleep study again and thankfully this time there were no problems! I was hooked up within the half hour and ready for bed. As I was readjusting my pillows the nurse asked what I was doing because I had them stacked on top of each other. I told her I sleep with my head elevated because of my disease and she says “no no no that’s why you’re at a sleep study to figure out what’s going on.” I didn’t argue but wanted to point out I was simply there because of the fogginess an extreme fatigue, I already knew what was causing the other issues that I needed my head elevated for. 

So I was left there to sleep laying flat with only one pillow and two belts tightly secured around my chest and stomach…definitely not the ideal situation with my SVC syndrome! Surprisingly though, I did fall asleep….just not a very peaceful sleep!

And yes, I am wearing my FM shirt…again! They are just too comfortable but if I keep taking selfie’s I might need to change things up once in a while☺️  
Now I am to the point where I can’t tell you when my next appointment is because I know the rest of the month is clear and I don’t look any further than what’s a week ahead! Wahoo! How awesome is that?! Surgeries and testing and procedures over…for a little bit anyway, but I will take what I can get!

And to top off the afternoon, we took Leah to drop her school supplies off since she will be starting kindergarten on Monday!!! This just doesn’t seem possible already! I will be okay though!?😂😭😢  

Now it’s time for me to catch up on some sleep! Enjoy the weekend everyone.

As great as the last few days have been, it doesn’t take long to get back in to the routine of appointments and procedures…

 Beginning steps of my eye surgery…nothing beats having an “L” on my forehead…  

Tim working on selfies right before the doctor came back in…   
And this time, Tim had the perfect view. First the doctor had come in to give me the injection and once he left to let the numbness soak in, Tim was ecstatic in showing me with his fingers just how long the needle was. He says with excitement that it had to have been at least four inches long and “I can’t believe he stuck it all the way in!” First off, please don’t find any type of amusement in the fact that I just got stuck, near my eyeball, with a needle that big! 

Tim kept going on and on that he knew they used a big needle because he’s seen it but he’s never seen them stick me and “can’t believe that whole thing went in! And you’ve done that five times!” Haha…some women impress their men with getting all dressed up or getting a new hair style, but me….well, I’m just “special.” Anyways, this is what that big ole shot does…

Once the laser surgery started Tim was instructed to put on glasses to protect his own eyes…  

Can you guess how this ride home went? Ha!      

So that was our morning 😉 Definitely not the most comfortable situation to be in but I guess, are any of my situations ever pleasant?! On a positive note, the doctor said he will be surprised if this surgery doesn’t work…I won’t say anything negative here 😝 I follow up in four months to see the results!

Once home though, the night turned to total chaos! Nathan’s location and time for football practice was changed two times, Skyler was making up for a canceled practice this morning…and all of these emails and changes were being made between 4-6:30pm…yep the worse time for Tim because he has chores and now along with running the kids around because I can’t drive…and all last minute! Skyler ended up driving to her stuff…and that was the most intense 12 minutes of praying I did until I got her message that she was at school!! As if this day wasn’t stressful enough!!  

Thankfully Tim was still able to make it to our church small group…a good night for him to get away and regroup!

This is one of the reasons I blog so much on any of the fun days we have. I know some people might question some of the things I put on here and I’m not trying to boast by any means. The thing is, the last week was amazing and then just like that…well, today was not! Haha! Our good days seem to be far and few in between so we have to find ways to make it a good day. When we do have amazing things happening in our lives, we want to share how God always shines through in the midst of sadness, frustration, pain and heartache! 

The award and all this stuff with my book…spending time with the kids at the pool or simply messing around outside…yes to some of you, what is the big deal right? But to us, all these blessings are presented to us at the perfect time, at a time when Tim and I start to lose focus and become overwhelmed with all of the challenges. All these little things to you, are huge reminders to us that God is still right here with us and providing us with a renewed sense of hope!

We truly have to appreciate the good days God blesses us with, and make the best out of every opportunity given because things change fast…and in those not so good situations, we simply have to trust God to carry us through…because these challenges are blessings too, we just don’t see it sometimes. 

So on a lighter note…I have walked in to a door, burned dinner, burned my finger while cooking dinner and about fell down the stairs…this is from not seeing because of my patch….but my family would argue that it could also just be any other regular day for me 😜 

I have a headache from typing with just one eye and the loud muffler pulling in the driveway means Skye is safely home so I’m going to bed 😉  

First off, we want to thank all of you that came to support us at the fair today! A big shout out to Uncle Rick…you must really love me! Haha and I hope Aunt Barb was able to cross some things off from her bucket list😊 I wonder if you were back on the golf course by 11:30?! 😜   

Also, to those who couldn’t make it, thank you for the encouraging text messages and phone calls! Like Tim said…it’s probably the only award we will ever get, haha, so we appreciate all of the support from both of our families and friends! 

 

   

  

And then the vouchers for food! Oh my, we ate lunch and supper there with snacks in between! Good thing we did a lot of walking!!

Then…kids ate again on the way home! Asher fell asleep with a fork in his hand… 

And then right back to eating when they woke up! 

Perfect day and a great distraction for what comes my way tomorrow….that dreaded eye surgery! But hey, we did about 5 hours of walking today so I should sleep good! 😉